08 January 2006
6:11 PM
emotionally drainedA very low and lousy past week. Ever since school started. It's been like so horrible every day.
And I'm behind that facade, once again.I really hate it lah!!! Sigh. There hasn't been a single day I found myself
truly happy, enjoying myself, having fun. Every smile was really a mask. Every laugh was really a cry. Every jump for joy was forced.
I haven't been happy for a very long time I realise. 1 week. ONE WEEK! Not being happy for one week is seriously very very bad. Wonder how I even survived. Ok, I didn't. Burst in the end. And burst really bad. You don't wanna know. Even sarah sensed my unhappiness! I myself didn't realise it was so obvious.
Thought I was good at hiding behind that facade. Thought people didn't know, didn't see, didn't realise. Thought...thought a lot.Aargh. I don't know how I'm supposed to survive school if I'm like that all the time. Tomorrow I'm going to OBS. And my unhappy mood hasn't changed since it began. It's really gonna affect my OBS experience, which is quite sad. Cause OBS should be like, WHOA, SUPERB. But at the rate I'm going with all my unhappiness and lack of cheer, it's gonna be unenjoyable.
SHEESH LAH I can't cheer up!!!
What am I supposed to do?
They say that for people who are usually super happy and high and hyper and never get upset or sad or pissed easily, when they DO become low and sad and depressed, it's like BOMB. Super bad. Could there be better evidence than this!
SIGH!
the tears that fall...[credits to vinna who loves using that phrase?! lol.]
