God's child
dance
music
basketball
loves people!!! :D

"let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful." hebrews 10:23

live for others. make a difference.

physics link
Hello. This is for those basketballers who are taking physics test on monday(: Sorry I didn't bother sending the link to you so here it is! But oh well if you REALLY want my file I can get it in school tomorrow(:
http://members.vr-zone.com/~yan/Physics/UNIT2Kinematics/

JIAYOU ok!! It really is copable! Can do it! Yeah! (:

THANK GOD
1. I SURVIVED PHYSICS TEST!!!!! WOOHOOHOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO :D And ms siow told me how much I got for my MCQ and it actually isn't bad! Yayness man! I kinda died for the open-ended question4. ARGH. The stupid THING is so confusing lah!! [this is keeping in mind that there're people who haven't taken the test yet :P] I was wondering and pondering over it for so long then SUDDENLY realised that I still had q5!! I thought it was the last question before the bonus ones already! Stooopid. And I wrote so long for most of the open ended questions cause I didn't know how to phrase nicely and shortly and was afraid I might mis out important points [vital information, lol.]. Aiyah. But well. At least I'm fine with my marks for the MCQ (: Quite hardly yeah?

Olly, yen, jamie and sihui are gonna take it on Monday instead. I was debating with myself over whether it was worth-it to take today or monday. Concluded do today; I shall not blog in detail on the SUPER LONG and tiring debating process. But then after that ms siow came to nata and I and said we had to do it today cause mr ong didn't talk to her or something like that?? So anyway. To cut a long story short, and furthermore the ending which you all already know - I took the test today. And starved through training. Cause we took it straight after school. Ha.

That reminds me. I haven't found out my social studies marks. Actually it doesn't matter to me. I can live without ever knowing. Ignorance is bliss(:

OH forgot. And thank God also for
2. MY DAD FOUND A JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAH MAN! I mean he wasn't exactly jobless. But nevermind, don't ask. Anyway, he's gonna work in a bank now. Finally back to where he always "specialised" in. YES, THANK GOD FOR THAT.

Training was kinda postponed. Kinda because we did train a bit in between the mood-swing-ish rain that couldn't decide whether to STORM, pour, shower or drizzle. Stupid. Wasted our time today. So we'll go back tomorrow 8am! Wake up early again!

Man I'm still super drained from the matches and everything. plus I slept at 1am this morning!! Studied until midnight and QT was 1 HOUR. It was real good. I didn't even realise that the time passed so quickly! Sometimes I think I take 1/2 an hour but when I check the clock only 15 min passed! Ahahaha.



You know I REALLY hate it when I'm like happy with myself or satisfied with some achievement made and then someone has to come wham right into my happiness with just a simple WORD or comment or action. Furthermore, you probably know how often I'm actually happy with myself. Me being such a perfectionist and all...
Well that's what you did to me today. Thanks.
WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO PLEASE YOU???
I thought I had done alright. SERIOUSLY. Not being thick-skinned or whatever. I felt happy for once, but you just had to ruin it all. And now it's back to disppointment, demoralisation, and endless hopeless wishing. I really don't know what you expect of me. PERFECTION? IS THAT IT? Well. I'm telling you that's something I can't meet.

dead for physics
I'M GONNA DIE FOR PHYSICS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAHHHHH. Dead dead dead. Clsas Ex 2 is killing me. I never knew of such formulas. SHE DIDN'T TEACH US IN CLASS LAH. Then suddenly all appear. My brain doesn't functionnso quickly. And when I'm panicking it's worse!!! Geeeeeeee. Dead already.

Anyway, nata says I worry to o much, so I shall try not to and blog about the match instead.
Wait, I shall have my dinner first.

emo??
Being emo again!
Not really, actually. Ahaha. I don't know what to call it. So yeah. Lol.
The match against unity was rather exciting and TENSE. We didn't play really splendidly. But THANK GOD WE WON! 55-54, with TWO overtimes. What a very close match. From today's game, this is what I figured we must do:

DEFEND MORE AGGRESSIVELY AND QUICKLY.
BLOCK-OUT xiong-ly.
Bao wo our free throws.
Gan gan shang lan and draw the foul.
Watch before passing. Don't let them predict and intercept so easily.

We were still doing fine in the 1st half of the game. But later we kinda slacked off, maybe it was cause we were complacent, or tired...so they caught up really easily and quickly. And yeah, we found ourselves in trouble. So we tried to chiong once again and then the match just went on like this, see-sawing...and us all getting really anxious. And every time suddenly in a few seconds, we caught up by a few points then tied and the overtimes started. And we pissed cat high off cause their games started about an hour late due to our delays :P But they were worth it. WE MUST IMPROVE AND KEEP GOING HIGHER! Go raffles(:

SIHUI!!! WE ALL LOVE YOU FOR THAT FREE THROW! MAN! You're OUR SAVIOR, GIRL. THANK YOU :D

And I thought that shot in the last few seconds of the 2nd/3rd quarter wasn't counted!!!! When I got that beautiful pass from JAMIE(: , bounced then went up and released the ball I heard the whistle and I was like AAAAAAAAAAAARGH. TOO LATE! SHEESH! And then I saw the referee do the 2 points in sign and I went over the moon!!!! :D Ahahaha.

Ok, that's all for now. Twas nice blogging! I'm wasting time and money online! But I just felt like saying something! And my white and peach pens ran out of ink so I can't write in my diary! [Ugh! How stupid is that?!]

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo moooooooooooooooooooooooooooood.

Haha. Don't you think that's cute. Ooooooooooooooooooooohh.

come to me whenever you're lonely...
now and then when you need a shoulder...

this just popped into my head...
hahaha.... now everybody all together now... Awwww....
with love, secret admirer.

beneath that smile
Hello.
I'm supposed to go to sleep. I'm using my wet hair as an excuse. And later I shall do QT then go to bad. DON'T CARE ABOUT BAO ZHANG DU HOU GAN LAH. ARGH. I feel quite guilty for not completing it, considering I had quite an amount of time the last few days but chose not to care.

I'M STILL NOT GETTING INTO SCHOOL MOOD. I haven't since January. I'm going nuts.

There's already geog pt, chinese WS, maths domains WS2 waiting when school starts. Cause I dunno how to do them by myself. Hah.
AIYAH CAN'T BE BOTHERED LAH!!! -_-

Went out for lunch with fiona and peggy after the lil talk on accountability partnering with them and dawn. And then we pretty much went on a very nice and aimless stroll around orchard, from PS all the way to Borders! Haha.
In detail. We had lunch at long john's [so filling. Goodness. And I was supposed to be hungry!] Then walked around carrefour looking at the weirdest stuff! From POTS AND PANS to urm, towels? To pitchers and jugs?! HAHA. So amusing. I didn't think that's what 20/21-year-olds shop for. Ahaha.
After that we walked up and down and played a bit in the arcade and then walked all the way to the kopitiam at Le Meridien. They ate yami yoghurt and then we all got so tired from walking [esp with broken-strap slippers!!] so we just half-lay-half-sat on the apparently comfortable chairs [mine wasn't! :(] and talked and crapped and WENT HIGH(: Well, quite high.
And then peggy had to go off for dinner at home. And her bus 65 took so long to come!!!!! My gosh. But ah, I know what it feels like man. WAited for 67 for 45 minutes before. PISSIFYING sia. Haha. And then I was holding back LOTS of pee [what's new, it happened worse during Holy Communion this morning!! Argh!] while waiting. Ahaha. My record for today is about 10min break in between 3 TIMES of pee-ing. After DG, before worship prac, after worship prac. Small bladder is an understatement.
So, left with fiona and me. Tried chionging to heeren but failed cause we were tired and hot and my slippers made me unable to walk very quickly, to use the toilet. Haha. And then walked all the way to the burger king at borders to drink and talk some more. Haha. I can't believe what we did. Man. So JUDGMENTAL! Haha. OOps.
Left at about 830pm. Haha.

NICE SIA. One whole day with church friends [not many, actually, but still they're CHURCH friends :D] was super great! Haha. Especially the day just before school begins once again!! [argh!! That awful feeling of dread and sickness is getting to me pretty badly].

And I really have or am going to lose my mugger self. Kaiyan, vinna, joy are talking about homework right now. And I'm refusing to open the stupid convo.

The Hillsing United's new album is SO NICE!!! I think I said that before right. Haha.

Time to sleep. GOT SCHOOL TOMORROW. STUPID. NO MORE SLEEPING AT 3AM.

back after opening ceremony proposal
Oh ok I realise you won't understand the title, as in why "back". Nevermind. Not necessary XD

Yayy I'm gonna stay up tonight or this morning. Don't really feel sleepy now. And I was supposed to do my bao zhang du hou gan but then I had to finish up the opening ceremony proposal first. So I just finished it and now I'm gonna do 2 chinese du hou gans and pack my bag for monday. Cause later I'm gonna be out until night. And so I don't wanna rush the packing of my school bag before sleeping. I'll be too kanchiong to go to bed. See, I hate it when school starts. No choice but to sleep early. Sigh.

Talked to dawn [accountability partner stuff] for about 1h 15min just now! Was really fun:) Talked a bit about our week and God and then random stuff about our lives with references to how God was present in those times as well, like how He blessed us and took us through or stuff like that. As I said, it was really nice to take a good and proper break from the hectic school week (well not for me though, but for her, and for me from next week onwards!) to focus on God and reflect on our lives in the past 6-7 days! There seems never to be any time to do that sorta thing nowadays. Every day is just rush this rush that, and we rarely or never slow down and halt to think back and thank God, or simply quieten down our hearts for just a moment and shut out all the noise around. So these calls every sat night are really great:) Thanks dawn!! :D

I love morning. As in early early morning like now, 2+ am all the way till about 5am. Silent. Still. Nothing to distract or disrupt your thoughts. So nice for thinking and pondering and reflecting!! And spending time with God! :)

So you don't need to ask me why I love staying up till the unearthly hours of the morning. It's NOT simply cause I'm nuts or I think sleeping is waste of time or I don't need sleep or I love torturing my body or I'm just trying to challenge my body against weariness! NO! I mean, I admit those are true :P, but they're only reasons why I stay up to a certain extent! Really, I've got better ones!!

Hey actually, why am I so stupid. The yue du things aren't even due yet. Not even soon. So since I can take my time, why in the world am I rushing them now?!! Aah well. If I feel like doing them later, I'll just proceed.

Dawn pronounced façades as "fuh-kates" and not "fuh-sahds"! HAHAHA! I think that's so cute. Mann. Nevermind, inside joke. Lol.

So should I or should I not do my chinese thing? I'm sleepy now. Why are there so few people online?!! :(

Alright I'm starting to feel the anger and frustration from that bubbling up once again.

BYEE.
(I see lightning!)

Who can fathom the depth of Your love?

BOOO... guess who... cheer up... give a smile...
its tough yeah... but hey! for all you know you might have cheered someone out there.
and that someone would have cheered up someone else.
and that someone would have cheered up someone else.
and that someone would have cheered up someone else.
and that someone would have cheered up someone else.
and that someone would have cheered up someone else.
and that someone would have cheered up someone else.
and that someone would have cheered up someone else.
and that someone would have cheered up someone else.
and that someone would have cheered up someone else.
and that someone would have cheered up someone else.
and that someone would have cheered up someone else.
and that someone would have cheered up someone else.
and that someone would have cheered up someone else.
and that someone would have cheered up someone else.
and that someone would have cheered you up.

sorry... i should have called... well... you can kok me on the head!!!!

heh... just testing...
took me a long time to get in again... hahahahahahha
WHY IS YOUR THING SO DIFFICULT ONE?!
oh yes... guess who... hahahahahahahahahahah

joy's house
I'm bored. They're watching brokeback mountain. What's so nice about it?? Haha. Watching for the wrong reasons.
I have nothing to do:(
Slept at 415 this morning. Woke up with sinus butit's gone(:

cheryl loves vinna(((((:
todally dude
hahahaahahahahahahahahhahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
i thought i might spare cheryl
but decided against it
maybe because im such a nice person
todally forgiving
LAUGH
GRIN
JOKE
cheryls being dumb.
sigh
who agrees she psychopahthic.
you know what
i dont even know what that word means
-grin.
going out later huh.

Haha. That was dear vinna, as you would probably have guessed. Yeah! We're going out later? I think? Haha anything, later decide(:

I AM SO BORED. Bye!

match against bedok north
Chances don't last. Grasp them or lose them. That's it.

GO FOR IT. C'MON, YOU CAN DO IT.

I keep hoping for chances, and they do keep coming actually, but I LET THEM SLIP.
What's the use.

Regret. So much regret. On my part and I bet on his part too.

WAKE UP, MAN!



I spent 10 minutes sitting and stoning on my bed after dinner reflecting on the game. And all I managed to get out was...
regret.
Just regrets, wishful thinking, hopelessness, disappointment, loss of faith, and more regrets.

There's so much more that's needed out of me and I know it. Yet I know also that I don't show it. Either I don't show that I know or I don't show what's needed. Well actually it's both.

Whatever happened???!!!
It was better last time. It was looking great. There was a spark of hope. Rising. Soaring. Flying higher and higher.

And then, the fall. A big lurch, slipping, tumbling, hitting hard. Ouch.


I feel stupid.

Blew it.

Will there be any more chances???

insanity
What is it like to be insane?
Cause I think that is what I might be suffering from.
HahaHA.
But don't ask for explanations. Just leave it at that will you? (:

Watched So you think you can dance. Haha. Was pretty cool. I like the cheryl person!! SH'es HOT STUFF! Woohoo!! Hahaha! Firstly, obviously cause she has such a terrific name :D [hahaha] and secondly, cause you have to admit, she CAN dance!! (: Yay!
Haven't watched TV in a long time. That felt good. Haha.

This morning's trip to URA and Raffles City and CHIJMES was rather enjoyable!! (: URA's super cool!! The videos and MODELS are SO WONDERFUL. They spent like $10 000 on the miniature 72-storey building!! Hah!! Such a waste!!! But it was obviously a very great job done, that's why.
Actually, like I told nata, and she was pretty amused by it, I learnt more irrelevant and WEIRD stuff on this trip than facts I need to know. For example:
1. Circular Road is not circular at all!!! it's just 1 straight road!!! [hahahahaha!!! (: so amusing!!]
2. the OUB centre logo wasn't taken off cause it was too high up on the building and thus inconvenient to be erased. LOL.
3. deers make sounds like "you you"!!!
4. urban planners actually have a planned process for the making of model TREES!!! How cute is that, don't you think!!! Haha!
5. Mr Adriel Yap's face appeared in the URA gallery because he made some comment on the new downtown or sth like that.
6. for the batteries the British used to store weapons/artillery in the past, as long as there was more than ONE weapon, they could be put into a battery! And I was thinking batteries were for storing hundreds of weapons!! Haha!
7. CHIJMES starts with CHIJ!! Seriously, I never noticed that! And I always wondered why CHIJMES had such an extra J there! :P

HAHAHAHAHA amusing right!!! Haha!

Well the visit to Raffles City made me kinda nostalgic too. Cause last time I went out with my mum to that area quite a lot. Can't remember why. Not that she was working there... but anyway, I also remember a picture of me sitting in the huge letters OUB in front of the OUB Centre once when we went there! Haha yes, I remember weird and random things. Well. I never really cared about relationships with my parents. It's not important to me, and in fact, if you were to ask me, I'd never say "family comes first." It's not even on the very top of my priorities. "How sad," you may say, but not to me. I don't know why. This holidays I can't go out with my mum cause we aren't free at the same times. Sad, eh?
Anyway, don't you find it weird that of all times, I was reminded of my nice relationship with my mum in the past during a GEOGRAPHY TRIP TO RAFFLES CITY?! Hah. That's probably the 20th sign of insanity I've found.

I think I get demoralised far too easily. And not only that, but I don't get over disappointment quickly either. That's a huge problem man.
Training was alright. I know that's not a good adjective [sometimes to certain people it isn't even considered one], but it's simply cause I don't know how I should describe it. Ok fine, honestly, it was BAD, then. For me, I mean. Ah, it's actually pretty rare that I'm happy with my performance yah?

Oh and yen did the chicken wing thing after getting the rebound at one time and she went WHAM!! into my face - full speed, full strength, full blast and all. OUCH. I got a temporary black eye, plus blur vision, plus pain[!!!] on the left side of my face! The blow was super hard! Gosh! Hahaha! Great aggressiveness man! (: Was quite shocking too.

I dread starting on homework. No mood at all!! :( I've been procrastinating for very long. And still am. Heh. But I don't really care.

Perhaps I need to stop trying to fool myself and fool others.

4.38am
Woohoo, look at the time. I'm still awake. I really do love staying up and being nocturnal. I just don't feel like sleeping!!! I know I'm sleepy. My eyes hurt a lot, actually. And I think they're red. Eve said I looked tired like at 2am+ already. Ahaha. It's been such a long time since I stayed up like that. I'm aiming to stay up till about 5am, then see if I feel like sleeping. If not I'll just stay up the whole night.

If only I had company!!

I'm so bored. Got nothing to do!!
Oh, to add to the to-do-list:

1. yen, olly, sihui's BELATED :( birthday presents. But I hope I make a good job outta it, so at least it makes up for the lateness:P
2. opening ceremony proposal draft 2

Sad eh. Only 1 more week. But well, I have no reason to complain cause at least I get a WHOLE WEEK MORE!!! Everyone else starts school tomorrow already!!! So I seriously need to make full use of the 7 days extra that I have.

I'm really excited about 40 dop!! :) Hahaha, if you're wondering why that was so random, it was cause I just saw the Purpose Driven Life book on the shelf.

stuff to do next week

1. homework

2. study maths and chem

3. read books + LOTR + LOTF

4. go out!! (:

5. whatever WOW stuff that's coming up [can't really remember what dancia said, haha]

6. urm, any random stuff. STAY UP AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. No chance for that during school days.

1:46am
I haven't stayed up till so late for quite a long time. I really miss the silence and peace and tranquility and serenity and stillness.
Although it's not exactly quiet here, cause I'm not at home, ahaha. And there're eve and chanyi in the background(:
But still.

I miss having this time at night/morning to simply lie down and reflect and think SUPER DEEPLY and just wander into my own thoughts and imaginations and all. Like, into some other realm that no one else sees. My own private me(:

I think I'm turning into some mental person. I'm going CRAZYYYYYY. Ooh, scary.

eve's house
WHEEE I'M AT COUSIN EVE'S HOUSE NOW(: WHEEEEEEEEE. And I'm HIGH!!! I have been high the whole night, actually!! (: Fom teh-bing!! Ahahaha, but NO, I get high by NATURAL MEANS OK! Wahahahaha.

And I spent about 2 hours on the phone with dawn and fiona. Ahahahahahaha. 1st discussing acc partner stuff then talking crap all the way(: Wahahaha. Whee I should say we wre not bad for starters(: Lol.

I'm so high, I can't focus on blogging. Hahaha.

Oh no!! I'm getting ulcers all over my mouth. Heaty heaty! And I think I'm starting to lose my voice and it'll become hoarse pretty soon if I don't drink enough and refrain from eating more heaty stuff. Just yesterday I was coughing quite badly. Heh(: And my ulcers hurt A LOT!! I can't bite properly. Ahahaha.

And I almost twisted my ankle this afternoon!! Jumped and landed really horribly, it hurt SUPER BADLY. Could really feel the sharp twang of pain. But was ok after a while.

I'm being so random and incoherent here.

Chanyi has finished her history essay. And here I am, not starting on my homework. Cause I didn't even BRING my homework here. Heh.

Gtg!!

Night(:

march hols
And so, 1 week has passed by as though it were just an instant. It was really eventful and well-spent. I know it wasn't a waste, and I'd maximised the fun and enjoyment. Just a brief outline, cause I've already wrote everything in my diary:

monday: bball training camp day 1. Blogged about this already:)
tuesday: bball training camp day 2. Match against SAJC in the morn! Went to far east to buy subway lunch (free drink + cookies!! Where can you find better value-for-money?! :D) Slept a bit, sat at block H with nata staring at tom the cat, then had training in the afternoon before the bbq. BBQ was really fun! (:
wednesday: SURPRISE BDAY CELEBRATION for olly + sihui!! :D Cyled at east coast, had lunch at pasta mania in cine. And then we slacked around in school weights room. Ahahaha.
thursday: training in the morning, lunch with yen then bought her mum's birthday present, then shopped around in spotlight then went to j8 with vinna.
friday: PAINTING THE WOW YOUTH ROOM :)))))))) And steamboat + shopping with the CORE people!! :)

1 more week of "holiday" left. I'd better plan it properly in order to make FULL USE of the time, both to finish school work and study and also to HAVE FUN!!! :)
I know my attitude towards school has had a major change. I can't believe it, but I really don't care about my grades and my homework. I feel there's no meaning in mugging and handing in homework and performance tasks and assignments and meeting stupid deadlines and all that. I just wanna slack, big time. I really have no care. And as you can see, the "HAVE FUN" up there is in caps while the "school work and study" aint. Seriously. It's been like that since the start of the year, and I have constantly wondered why and blogged about it [I bet you're tired of reading about my slacking instead of studying already too] time and again, and now i have come to a conclusion that I have lost my mugger self, FOR REAL. It's coming to the end of march and I have yet to feel the need to study. 3 months. Isn't that enough to prove that I have really changed my attitude?!
Well, for one, I haven't even TOUCHED my homework for the holidays. I mean, actually, there's not a lot of homework anyway, but there is. And I haven't cared to take it out of my file even look at it. If it was last year or what, by now I'd have completed everything, and if I hadn't, I wouldn't be blogging or wondering why I don't care either. I'd be CHIONGING. But now? What amI doing?! Thinking about why I don't bother.
HMM.
Something's wrong with me. Well. Too bad! I really don't care!!! (millionth time I'm saying that.)


And now about bball.
This holidays have made me really grow closer to them (batchmates) by going out, eating, camping, lazing around, etc. together with them. And I feel a stronger bond with them now. It's great(: After 3 years, finally. Thank you VERY much, all of you(: Whether you've realised it or not, you've all made a difference in my journey in bball. I owe a lot to every single one of you(:
thank you!!! :D

I said that perfect opportunities never last.
God obviously thinks otherwise.
There it is - one HUGE HUGE HUGE opportunity right in front of me. Waiting for me to accept it and make full use of it and prove myself and lead to other better opportunities. There've been so many times chances came and went, cause I either failed to see them, or simply failed to grasp them. And they just kept coming, now I realise. I wanted to give up, but something held me back and made me press on. I thought opportunities didn't last, but really, that isn't true. People have faith in me. More than I have in myself. And of course, GOD HAS FAITH IN ME.
I wanna forget all the past mistakes and setbacks and just focus on this goal I'm working towards, coming out of it as a better person and player. I really am SO THANKFUL to God. I truly didn't think there were chances left. And of course, THANK YOU JIAOLIAN!! :)

I don't wanna let anyone down. Not even myself.

Forever God is faithful!

Thank You Lord.

I come before You today
And there's just one thing that I wanna say
Thank You Lord
Thank You Lord

For all You've given to me
For all the blessings that I cannot see
Thank You Lord
Thank you Lord

With a grateful heart
With a song of praise
With an outstretched arm
I will bless your name

Thank you Lord
I just wanna thank you Lord
Thank you Lord
I just wanna thank you Lord

For all you've done in my life
You took my darkness and gave me Your light
Thank you Lord
Thank you Lord

You took my sin and my shame
You took my sickness and healed all my pain
Thank you Lord
Thank you Lord

Thank you Lord
I just wanna thank you Lord
Thank you Lord
I just wanna thank you Lord
Thank you Lord
I just wanna thank you Lord
Thank you Lord
I just wanna thank you Lord


You'll never let me go through it all.

our God is an AWESOME GOD!!!
Awesome indeed!!
Praise the Lord.
I was SO SO SO SO SO terrified and worried and scared and unsure and hopeful and doubtful and stressed.
And He took me through all of it, and got me out of it with great results(:
How could I ever thank Him?
Yayyyyy. Thanks EVERYONE too for your constant encouragement and pats on the back and nice nice messages! Really served to help me survive. Haha.

Our God is truly an awesome God.

bball training camp
I'm back! Haha. And there's 1 more day to go. It's a day camp. Haha. I'm quite relieved actually that we don't have to styover. Less stuff to pack, more time to do stuff at home, less mafan, better rest.

Was super tiring. We ran 2.4km in the morn, then had training then lunch. Then at 3 we trained again, and ended with a match against Yishun JC. After lunch most of us just konked out...and fell asleep watching the video. The psychology game is so funny. Especially if you ask interesting questions(: Ahaha! Athena... now we know how scandalous you are eh! Hahaha.

And guess what I was thinking about during the afternoon training. The most irrelevant stuff.
Spiritual goals.
I was like, WHAT?!! So weird. And then I couldn't really concentrate on training. So I tried to push it aside. Ah but anyway, I was resting then. As in cause we were doing the 2-3 defence thing then it was my turn to rest. HAHA. I think it was really amusing how that popped into my head during training.

Tomorrow we're gonna have a match against SAJC in the morn, then training in the afternoon, followed by the bbq(:

I WANNA GO FOR CONVENTION!!! :(:(:(:(
I like the shirt!! Haha, and don't ask if that's the reason I wanna go. NO. It just makes me wanna go all the more!!! :(
SAD. It sounds so fun and intersting.

I messed up SO BAD during the match. Fouled 3 times. And maybe 1 more, but that wasn't really me. REALLY IT WASN'T ME!!! :( Hate it. Like, that's such a STUPID DUMB LOSER way to mess up. I mean, I always mess up by making mistakes in passing, dribbling and SHOOTING, but not in FOULS?! Come on!!
And well. Missed all my free throws.
Geez man. BA WO LA.
I always do fine during training, then just can't execute perfectly in matches.
What is wrong with me.

I hate disappointing others. I mean, it's totally fine to disappoint myself, but letting someone else down makes me feel so terrible and guilty. I know mr ang's really disappointed in me. And I've yet to prove anything good to him.

So many chances, so many mess-ups.
Perfect opportunities never last.

I had the Thank You Lord song stuck in my head throughout training also. Not the don moen + paul baloche one, but the one we sang yest. It's real nice.

SOUL yest was SUPER GOOD!! <3>with every breath i take i will testify Your love!

Indeed, I am NOT ASHAMED of the GOSPEL!!! Woohoo:)

pissed
Hello.
I'm just here to vent anger.
But I don't know what to type so bye.

Who am I?
Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.

Who am I?
That the bright and morning star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart.

Chorus:
Not because of who I am,
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who you are.

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,(ocean)
A vapor in the wind.

Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.

Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again.

Who am I?
That the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me.

Chorus:
Not because of who I am,
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who you are.

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,(ocean)
A vapor in the wind.

Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.
I am yours.
I am yours.
Whom shall I fear?
Whom shall I fear?
'Cause I am yours.
I am yours.

cheerobics @ toa payoh
SO COOL!!!
All the somersaults and flips and cartwheels and jumps and whatever terms they use to describe the cool gymnastic thingos. MGS was real good. And so was the team that was called "blast" - forgot their school heh. And for the open category, I can't really remember I think. But I know the NTU one was good, I mean, 5 years champs already?!! And NUS wasn't bad. Considering it's their first year.
I think when those people at the top fall it's real sad. They must feel horrible and downright disappointed that things didn't turn out perfect after all, and they kinda ruined the whole performance. It's like the pressure you get on court, maybe like when you're doing a fastbreak all alone and everyone's totally depending on you to get that lay-up in. And when you miss it, mannn, that feeling is just so horrible and indescribable. Letting the whole team, your coach, teachers, supporters, yourself(!) down is just terrible.
Ok, irrelevant.

Went out with ro and sihui after school to celebrate the end of tests and the coming of March hols. We walked around lazily in far east for a while then went Mac's at Lucky Plaza to eat ice-cream and apple pie(: And then they went home. HAHA what a weird outing. I went to watch that cheerobics thing with nata, athena, aline, claire and olly. Stayed there from 530 all the way until 745. Too bad I couldn't have dinner with claire and olly there cause I had dinner prepared at home already. Waiting in the fridge, haha.

And I came home and wrote a letter [haha, guess who. lol] the whole night. Well, actually by the time I reached home it was like almost 9?!! [I HATE living in choa chu kang, I'm desperate to move house!!!] And wen yan called almost immediately. And then bathe and have dinner and write and by the time I came online, it was 1130pm.

Yawn. Night.

Swim carn tomorrow. Then go out, AGAIN.
Heh.

let go.
let God.

no more tests!!!!
It's geog now and mrs newby's not here. FREE BLOCK :DDDDDDD
AND NO MORE TESTS!!!
WE'VE FINISHED LIT AND CHINESE!
AND WE SURVIVED PRETTY WELL!!
They were actually really not that bad. Better than I expected, esp lit.
I know I'm not gonna do well, cause I wrote horribly for both essays, but I'm just glad they're over. YESSSS :D

I couldn't finish lit on time, but for chinese I finished almost on the dot.
Heh.WHO CARES!!!! :)

HOLIDAYS HERE WE COME!!
1 MORE DAY OF SCHOOL!
WOOHOOHOO!

I've got a LONG list of things to do for the hols man. Counted about 12 things so far, not including homework. HAHAHA. I meant the fun stuff. Hahaha! How exciting!! I can't wait!

This feeling rocks!!

Nata and I went uber uber uber high during lunch [just]. Jokes like our-lo and mi-high and hi-lo milk and YAHOOOOO!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

I dunno how I'm supposed to explain the jokes to you, so don't bother asking. Heh. Sadly, jokes aren't funny when repeated:)

Withdrawal symptoms? Hah, maybe not.
?????

Nata, I still don't think I seem high all the time!!!

high,hyper and happy
Nata says I always appear to be hyper and happy. Repeat, ALWAYS.
HAHA!!
Maybe I've learnt to act happy man.
Not bad right??

:)

no msn messenger
My msn messenger refuses to work.
AAAAAARGHHH.
It keeps signing on for a few seconds, then sayin some error thingo and out you go, you gotta sign out, no choice.
So pissifying!!!!!

Anyway. This laptop is working pretty ok so far. The speed's considerably slow...but better than the previous konky com. I mean the one after the hard disk crashed and my father converted to another hard disk or sth like that. It worked one night and crashed the next day. Wow, great.

Just that THERE IS NO MSN MESSENGER.
AND THAT IS JUST TOTALLY LOUSY AND IRRITATING AND STUPID.

I went to orchard popular and borders with nat tie today. And totally DIDN'T BOTHER that there's a lit and yilunwen test coming up in JUST 2 DAYS!!
I'm learning the ways of the slacker:)))
And I'm proud of it!!

Haha, yeah. Right.

I don't know. Do I feel guilty now?
Not exactly. Hey, I came online just to check my email and blog?!!!

But really!! I'm trying super super hard NOT to care so much about studies. But nata says I'm still as mugger as ever.Mugging gets me nowhere. So why in the world do I mug so hard???!!
Maybe I'm just born stupid. Mug and get bad grades. Don't mug and get bad grades. Do you see any difference there?! NOOOOOO.
So. Conclusion.

WHY MUG???!!!

But there's always that voice telling me that I HAVE TO MUG!!

And so. Internal conflict.
I'm gonna study lit and so my SS WS later.
Or. Am I??!
I could just slack my night away. Like I did in the afternoon already.
I mean, LIT ISN'T EVEN A REAL TEST. IT'S AN FA. NOT SUMMATIVE!!

So why in the world do I care so much man!!

And, how do you study for a compo?!!

So, that is = to DON'T STUDY AT ALL!!

I hope so?

But well. I'm still gonna be studying tonight.

So goodnight. I'm gonna have my dinner now.

INTERNAL CONFLICT. reminds me of one of the poems in PDD. Heh.

Bye.

during rs-after school
secret admirer, I think your post titles are all very funny. Like WOOHOOO and hahahahhahah?
HAHA! Cause I just saw the titles. Didn't realise then.

Anyway. I was being super retarded just now. Amusing joy. Yes. Just go ask her. Singing songs?! Haha! And urm, tag tag tag tag tag tag! And osl. And I can't remember and don't bother remembering anymore.
WHEE!

I feel so slack.

GEOG TEST IS OVER!!!!!
I FULNKED BIG TIME!
lET'S CELEBRATE!

Lol.

Half my answers didn't make sense. That's an understatement. 80% of my answers didn't make sense. Heh. But at least. Left lit FA and yilunwen tests on thur. Geog being over is the best. It's like the one you have to mug most for!!!!

Fel says my posts are very funny. HAHAH! See, I'm laughing. Lol. i don't see what's so funny. Now THAT'S funny!
HAHAHA!

I'm so high!! Gosh!

Things to do after school, which in other words is now:
photocopy chem ppts.
get lit notes from nata.
shop for sth? with nat tie.

I'm gonna withdraw from osl!!
:(
But duh, I'm gonna go for bball instead of osl. Anyway there's still mission trip(:

Church camp in june. I'd still rather have it injune. I mean I really look fprward to it but it's like being in dec is so much better cause the mood is there and it's like a yearly thing, every dec surely there's a church camp that everyone is gonna talk about and look forward to...but this yaer it's in june?! And only 3 days, furthermore. Sad or sad? It's like tradition to have it in dec already. Plus, in dec it's like REALLY HOLIDAY, and you actually feel like it really is a break from the whole year. Whereas june is like in the middle, so there's still homework and pt's and after the camp there's gonna ba continuation of the sch year. Get what I mean??

I'm just blabbering. Heh.

VINNA YIP GIVE ME BACK MY PDD NOW!! YIKES MAN. I need to go!! :(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(

byebye!!
:)

hahaha... its me!!! secret admirer again... hahahhahaa
cheryl is going to blog later... i think... so i shall beat her to it... hahahahahhaha
hope she doesnt delete this... hahaha.. you wont will you????
oh well......
ahahahahaahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaha
cheryl you ought to smile more... hahahaha... you look prettier when you smile.... hahahahaha
many tend to look prettier when they smile you say? hahaha.. true.. but not when you are kinda born with a long face that a smile just looks really weird on it... hahahahhaahhaha
and HEy!!! think about this...

Qn: How do you get a stitch??

ANs: you get stitch from lilo....

ARGh!!!!! if you didnt guess that in the beginning and be honest with yourself... you are like me... hahahahaha.. and if you did... then you are really really really really really really retarded and spastic like cheryl.... ahahahahahahahahahahahah

i hate sl0w coms
AND NO MSN MESSENGER. I can't survive online without msn.

Founders' Day 2006. I'm in school now! And doing rs proposal with vinna. [trying, at least.]

And going out with her and ro and ky later for lunch and window-shopping.

I CAN'T WAIT FOR MARCH HOLIDAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1 week more. Jiayoujiayoujiayou. 1 more of week of geog, lit, yilunwen test. And then FREEEEDDDOMMMM!!!! WHEEEEE:))

Freedom for 2 weeks. YAHOO.

Should I go for ignite conference??

I have a million things to do in the march hols. Shant even attempt to list here. I've got them listed down in my other notebook already and it took me a real long time to think of everything. Maybe I still missed out some stuff.

And I realise I may be having lots of overseas trips this year.
bball trip in nov.
geog/bio field trip in june [MAYBE]
overseas service learning in nov-dec [MAYBE]
mission trip in june??

And lots of stuff waiting in othet hols too.Like CHURCH CAMP and Convention in nov and WEP [MAYBE].

Off to continue rs. Tata:)

You are there
When I feel so alone
And there's no one I can turn to
When it feels as though
The whole world's walked out on me
When I'm down to my knees
In frustration and distress
When I just wanna give up
And not press on anymore

You are there right before me
To pick me up in Your arms
To hold me closely, comfort, calm me
Never letting me go
You are there always present
And I'll run into Your embrace
I'll find my peace and restoration
Cause I know...
You are there.

-1215, valentine's day 06. during chinese lesson. :P

Earth has no sorrow that heaven cannot heal
Earth has no sorrow that heaven cannot heal
His loving hand can comfort you no matter how sad you feel
When it seems as though everyone has turned away
And life is filled with unhappy days
Rest assured that God is still here
Through your troubles and hurt, He is ever near
So when things don't work out or you've fallen down
Seek God and He'll lift you from the ground!

-1645, 30jan06. chinese new year visiting at paternal grandparents' house. inspired by my keychain XD

:)

the com's working!!!
My father repaired the com. Actually, the hard drive. I'm really relieved to be back on the net again. Thanks LOADS to my father who spent days AND NIGHTS trying and trying and trying with such an unyielding spirit to repair the com. [It was working, but had no internet connection [we changed the hard drive. Thankfully there was a spare one in the com or sth like that.]
And so, here I am blogging.

But wonder why I don't even sound like TRULY happy about it being "revived"?

1 it's slow.
2 it's SSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOO SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!!!!!
3.IT'S SO SLOW AND FRUSTRATING.
4.there's so MSN messenger and as I said, it's SLOW and thus I've been here for about 1/2 an hour and msn messenger still isn't completely downloaded yet. It may take days and I wouldn't be surprised. Thing is, it CAN'T take days.
5.all my previous documents are gone.
6.at this rate I'm never gonna get anything done online on this com.

So disappointing.

But well. AT LEAST it's working huh. At least at least at least I CAN access the internet at home. I realise I can't survive w/o the com. Plus projects are coming up and there's psl stuff and RS and blahblahblah. And philo journal has to be typed out and printed too.

The age of technology is crazy. People w/o computers or internet...just die lah?!

Anyway.
SS test wasn't that bad. I expected it to be harder...cause everyone who had taken it before us said it was super hard and it was difficult to spot the points as they weren't very obviously pointed out in the sources...even my teacher said it was hard!! But it turned out not-so-bad after all. Only thing, had to write like 5 words in one second?!! SIAOOO. In the last 10 minutes I realise I was terribly running out of time and this my hand andnpen shot off at bullet speed, scribbling and scrawling all over the foolscap. Saying my handwriting was illegible may just be an understatement.
But anyway! I felt good after I did it. Cause I finished, mainly. I was so worried I wouldn't be able to complete it on time.
But as for the results, I'm not so sure.
Hah. Ironical. The test was about the S'pore education system...things like exam-orientedness vs talent-orientedness. And here I am worrying about EXAMS. When the sources stated that exam-smartness doesn't encompass intelligence. There're many more aspects and ways of testing one's intelligence besides just book-learning.
Heh. I have to say even though it's obviously true, it's hard to adapt to in a kind of learning environment like S'pore's.
Exam-beaters, not world-beaters.
Hah.
What are we gonna become in 10 years' time?!!

Into the south zone finals we go :D Up against cedar next. CHAMPION SPIRIT! go raffles(:

In such a horrible mood now. Don't wanna blog anymore.

Night.

Happy 127th birthday, rgs.

woohoo!!! gosh its so difficult to get in... hahahah...
hahahahahaha... secret admirer here blogging on her behalf... hahahaha.
got into hot, sexy, popular and flirtatious Cheryl's blog (thank goodness i saw the mistake eh?) ... hahahaha
oooh...
hahahah.. hmmmm... dont know what to say now... oh yeah
Cheryl says that she is severely internet deprived... hahahaha
she really is... hahaha... she's irritating me... hahahah... nah...
its nice to be irritated by Cheryl... hahahahahha
hmmm....
i think i'm awfully slow today... hahaha...mid sems are over...
WOOohoo!!! ahahhahaha...

quoted from cheryl :"no, yah, i dont know... what am i saying?"

i think she is going a little nuts... hahah.. a little is an underestimation...
hahaha.. she's talking rather incoherently and randomly... hahaha.. talk to her...
and she shoots like a bullet train when she talks really fast...

hahahha.. gosh i think i'm going to be strangled by her... hahahahaha

and whats wrong with the button-board?!!? it works and people understand?!

i'm blogging!
Woohoo! Not bad I am still blogging.
Recess now.

HELLOHELLO I LOVE NATA NATA ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Who is nata nata rocks??!

I'm suffering from internet deprivation.
My typing is getting horrible.

I'm random.

I can'tprocess my thoughts now and thus my post is turning out this way - all disjointed thoughts and ramblings because Physics lab class starts in about 1minute's time. And so I am in a rush.

The spac e key is KONKED.

I better go.

I hate internet deprivation.

I feel so outdated and disconnected from the world.