God's child
dance
music
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loves people!!! :D

"let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful." hebrews 10:23

live for others. make a difference.

thinking and thinking and thinking a lot.
I haven't really had time to sit down and reflect and properly blog about serious stuff recently. And I do miss witing in my diary so badly but I just can't fine the time to do such things. Aah sigh. Anyway. I shall take a break from homework now to blog. Anyway I'm done with homework for the weekend, just gonna take a look at geog pt stuff later on.

Didn't get to talk to dawn last night cause I was knocked out the moment I got back from worship prac at about 9.30. Can't believe we spent about 3 1/2 hours in church!! So long?! Oh, count the walk to cold storage and 7/11 too, but still. It's amazing how time passes so quickly every time I go to church. And then when it's over I start wishing it could sart all over again and blah blah blah, but I still have got 1 more week to wait. ACK. Dawn!! I'm REALLY SORRY!!! I know you said it's ok like 5 times this morning but I still feel really guilty. Ha. Well at least we talked a bit in church this morn(: Thank you!<3.

And for DG we had prayer stations instead of lesson. To be honest, prayer stations very seldom work for me. I don't understand why. It's not cause I cannot quieten my heart for that kinda atmosphere. I can really be still during QT. But during prayer walks I just don't feel like it speaks to me. Not really. Not as much as music, at least. I think is you wanna talk about meditating and spending time with God, I still do better at it in QT. Don't ask why, cause I can't answer that either. But well. I'm not discouraging anyone or criticising those who took so much effort to prepare the prayer stations. I'm sure it's a great experience for others. I'm just an exception. I guess. [told you I'm nuts.]

WORSHIP! What can I say. Yes I was nervous, no, not as nervous as I thought I'd be, cause I was pretty prepared and all. And it's not like I've NEVER led before, cause you must count camp. And must be thankful for the SOUL trainings that helped me test and try a but before the real thing. But it WAS my 1st time leading in service.
THANKS YVONNE for guiding, ENCOURAGING and giving me tips throughout the whole time from last sunday when I started preparing till today, after service. :)
Thank you FIONA and CHARMAINE for your encouragements throughout the week of preparation too!! :D Helps to know that people actually believe in me; even more than I believe in myself.
Thanks EVEEE and ETHEL and AMADEA for your super nice comments after service:) Cousinn!! You rock, man. Never fail to boost my morale, with all the compliments and stuff. LOVE YAA! You've played a huge part in my growth as AWL too, giving me pointers and all from the worshippers' POV! All else said on your guestbook(:

And shermaine!! Haha. WOOHOO MAN you put the WHO AM I pre-chorus on your nick. YEAH MAN! It's great to know that the song at least touched someone!! Yahoo! Hopefully there were more! (: DON'T YOU LOVE THAT SONG!! I really do. The lyrics are so meaningful and made me realise that despite how insignificant I am, God doesn't leave me out of His to-love list, and through every day of my life, HE IS IN CONTROL! It's amazing how much God loves us, really. It's unbelievable. Ever since eve introduced me to the song, I've never forgotten it. And through this whole week, from wed when I was typing out the chords and stuff, the whole song was stuck in my head...even up till now. Hahaha. Love it.

SOUL training. Learnt about the priority of worship, esp how our hearts are when we sing songs to Him every sunday during service...are we really meaning what we sing or just mouthing the words by heart? Are our minds totally distracted and not focussing on God alone? are we REALLY WORSHIPPING HIM IN SPIRIT AND IN TRUTH?

Didn't feel like going home after that and neither did justin so we both decided to go to Lot 1 and walk around a bit. Haha. And I bought hairpins!! HAHAHA! Joke man. Lost one [and the only 1 I have besides another lousy one] in church yest during worhsip prac. I have NO idea where I dropped it! Haha. Could find it neither in the toilet nor the black sofa. Lol, great joke. Oh well! The pins cost like only 50c for 50 or something!! Haha. And we went around each level then bought bubble tea and after walking around in NTUC [laughs], sat down and talked about the couple :P and then walked off. Stopped at the traffic light before he crossed cause we hadn't finished talking [discussing how WOW is functioning, DG, cliques, etc] He missed like 10 traffic lights before deciding to go off. HAHAHA. Funny!!

I'm seriously losing my focus in studies. Lost it, rather. I'm not bothering about getting super good grades and a 3.7 GPA and all that. Even to the point that I'm studying last minute, which is something really not me. Like philo test. Tomorrow, and I studied tonight. Good job eh. If it were last year I'd probably have been done studying last night, latest this morning. Nuts. Crap. I'm probably gonne end up with a GPA of 3.4 or worse at the end of the year. And you know what? I DON'T CARE. I think studying is so meaningless now. Mug and mug and mug and what do you get?! Seriously, what?! Ok, scholarships and satisfaction and maybe it'll give you a bright future and great career and all the nonsense, but haven't you heard of people who didn't ace tests in school but still end up as big shots. NO, I'm not saying I'm so good I can be one of those people, but I'm just saying that I really HAVE NO CARE about my studies. Now. I'm dead, in short. What a great attitude to begin with, huh? I wonder whether mum will notice that my change in attitude towards studies has undergone such a huge change that she might think there's something wrong with me. I hope she doesn't. Cause I think there is, and I hate it when people just see through you like that. Whatever, CRAP.

I think I don't even recognise myself anymore. What in the world has brought such an extreme change over me?! Am I nuts or am I nuts or am I nuts or am I insane or all of the above?

I'm nuts.