God's child
dance
music
basketball
loves people!!! :D

"let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful." hebrews 10:23

live for others. make a difference.

I REMEMBER!!!!!
cheryl is a good chef... ask her to cook you stuff!!! its really good!!!!
her speciality are variations of chocolate pudding!!!
so hurry while stocks last!!!!!

hahahahha... got in again!!!!
i cant remember what i wanted to do on your blog... but howelll, i'll think of something...

according to the logic theory, where A=B, B=C and hence, A=C.
Cheryl is poet.
here's why.
Poets are people who write poems. therefore, Poets = Write Poems.
Cheryl Writes Poems. therefore, Cheryl = Write Poems.
Thus,
Poets = Write Poems = Cheryl
hence,
Poets = Cheryl.

See..... cheryl is really smart!!!!!!!
anyone who agrees to it, please tag her tagboard. whoever doesnt please tag her tagboard too...

that will totally flood it i hope... hahahahaha... ooops... she is soooo going to kill me...
just as zorro signed off with a z, so will i... ahahhahahaha...

CAPTAIN JACKSPARROW!
*swoooooons*
i've got a jar of dirt!
i've got a jar of dirt!
and guess what's inside it!

:D
:P

<333333333333.>johnny depp!!!!!

catching up
Wow. I'm impressed at myself. Haven't blogged for more than a week. Whoopee.

Still feels like the world is revolving around me.
Still feeling the blues most of the time.
Still have no mood to do anything and it's affecting both my studies and basketball and my friendships. That stinks man. Stinks bad.
Still find that the world would be a better place without me.
Still feel that God is so distant now...and I'm not even making effort to go back to Him.
Still feel like nothing matters to me and I don't matter to anyone.

I need to write a poem. Seriously.
I hate school. It messes up my plans. Esp in desperate times like this.
I don't make sense. (Never did, but seldom this bad...)

I wanna write a poem. I need to forget about homework for a day. Or I'll have no time.

Watching PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN later :) I hope it helps. I know one tree hill will help. I may watch it tomorrow. Before math test. Hmmmm. I don't wanna fail :(

Claire hit 52% for her 3-pointers yest. YOU GO GIRL :D 52%!!! Crazy nut! Sometimes my free throws don't even hit 50&. But well. She's claire. I'm cheryl. Uh-uh, big difference! Anyway. YEAH MAN CLAIRE! <3> YOU. YOU ROCK :)

Tired of hiding. REALLY. I'm repetitive. Sigh. Well, need to say it.
What IS with the stupid facade?!!!!!!!!!!!

I am gonna fail chem.

I should seriously stop falling asleep in lessons. Sleepiness was never a problem for me! I know I NEVER fell asleep in class ever until this year. ARGH. MY BODY IS FAILING ME. I AM FAILING MYSELF. IM' FAILING EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE :((((((((((((((((((((

Crap. Now I'm wallowing in self-pity? No. This aint no self-pity. I don't PITY myself. C'mon. I'm just frustrated with myself. I'm not happy with MYSELF, not with what I have or don't have or whatever makes one pitiful.
Get it?

Aah. Whatever. My words pierce through others' hearts. My actions chase people away. I wonder whether people hate me as much as I hate myself.

HOW CAN GOD LOVE ME SO MUCH?!

I neeeeeeeeeeed to write a poeeeeeeeeeeeem.

shuttup, will you.

one of the songs i liked from the Corrine May cd... haha... hope you'll like it too!!!!!


I try to smile my tears away,
I try to keep my cool.
Oh but one more door gets in my way
I feel like such a fool Trampled and bitter,
My heart just wants to bleed and stop Believing in me.
It feels like nothing is for certain and that nothing comes for free
When they're lowering the curtain to the theatre of my dreams
I stumble and i crumble and I'm sinking to my knees
for you
You cradle me

You keep me flying
You keep me smiling
You keep me safe in a crazy world
You understand me
Embrace my fragility
You keep me safe in a crazy world
And in your arms I find the strength to believe in me again

Noise keeps chasing me No matter where I go
Oh and life likes pretending that it's on a TV show
When it's hard to tell what's real
From what the world just wants to preach
You are the voice I seek

You keep me flying
You keep me smiling
You keep me safe in a crazy world
You understand me
Embrace my fragility
You keep me safe in a crazy world
And in your arms I find the strength to believe in me again
'cause when I'm wrapped up in your arms
Nothing else can touch me
What a wonderful way to recharge
I feel like I can breathe again

You keep me flying
You keep me smiling
You keep me safe in a crazy world
You understand me
Embrace my fragility
You keep me safe in a crazy world
And in your arms I find the strength to believe in me again

I've been planning this post for a long time already. Since the time I left church, or sometime around there. There's so much in my mind that I wanna write about. So I was trying to find some nice way to start. But oh well. This is blogging, not writing an essay and so I'm just gonna type away freely. Freedom of expression. Yes. Oh and before I go on and you go on reading, I shall just let you know that this post is gonna be not only extremely tremendously overly long, but also really depressing and possibly boring. So do feel free to click on the 2nd "let" and link to someone else's blog, or just close this page or go to another page. You might not really want to read this whole long ranting. Really. I'm warning you.


I know that at this exact moment I'm supossed to be annotating LOTF, reading LOTR, or reading the chinese book.
But I need, repeat NEED to blog.
It's either that, or I lock myself in my room and break down and soak my pillow, soak my bolster, get swollen eyes... Which is better? You decide.

running aimlessly, not even knowing where I'm heading.
I don't know what it is I'm searching for. I know I'm running this race for something that can't be seen, and I'm not even sure whether it exists. It's just an invisible goal, and I'm forcing myself to believe that it is there and someday, when the time comes, I AM gonna find it, so I shall just keep running.
and I...I'm desperate for You.
and I...I'm lost without You.
It's tiring, searching and running without even being sure that I'm actually getting anywhere. What if it turns out to be a fruitless search. What if I never find what I think I'm going to find, or what I wish to find, or what I'm supposed to find. What if I'm already where I'm meant to be, but i've failed to realise it and I'm just being stupid and trying to get out of it to something I think is better, when this is the best for me already. What if where I want to go is not in God's plan for me.
All I can do is wait and see.
"It's tough, it's tough, I know. But you gotta learn that God is sovereign, and if He wants this to happen for you, it will happen."
"It takes patience."
"Yeah. It does. But you gotta trust God. You gotta have the faith."
I don't wanna waste my time, performing some fruitless search. Life's precious man, it's so precious. And for all I know I'm gonna drop dead and die tomorrow. I don't wanna waste a single minute. I don't wanna waste this little time I have running for this invisible goal and end up finding out sometime so much later that all this time I've just been stupid, oh so stupid, and then I have to turn back and start over again.
There're so many things in life that I'm wishing for. And I've been wishing for them for such a long time. And despite how hard and how long I try, and how much I desire them, I've never gottne them. And so I've come to a point where I think those things are just not in God's plan for me, and He does have much much MUCH better things waiting. Maybe I'm not ready, maybe I'm not prepared enough, and maybe it just isn't right in His time yet. But those things...I want them SO MUCH, and it's hard to give up searching and trying to get them. And I'm not sure whether God wants me to give them up and trust Him to give me better things, or that He's just training me to persevere and endure these hardships and setbacks. How am I supposed to know?! God doesn't talk. Sometimes that frustrates me a lot. I really don't know what to do. And I repeat, I REALLY want those stuff I've been reaching for for so long. But every time I try, I fail, and I don't just wanna keep trying and failing!
What has God planned for me?! Will I have to wait until JC to see? What will make me believe? What will make me have faith?

And then I look at others, and to them it all seems so easy, like they were born like that and it's just totally nothing for them. And I begin to wonder whether good stuff just DON'T come my way. Or at least, stuff I want don't come my way, but go to others instead. And yes, I AM jealous. I admit it and I know it's very wrong and I should be happy and contented because everything I have is given by God who knows us best and what's best for us, and so I should stop whining about what I don't have, but make the most of what I DO have. Yes, I know that fully well. But it's HARD, get it? IT'S HARD, man!!! All the character traits I wish I had are found in others, and I try to be like that too but it just doesn't work. I know, once again, that we were all created in His image, and each of us has different UNIQUE qualities, and we should be proud of them. I'm questioning: WHAT qualities. I can't seem to find what's good about me. What makes me significant. How I even contribute to this world. Whether if I had never been born, the world would actually be different. Whether it'll matter to my friends that I don't exist. Maybe their lives would be better had I not come into them. Maybe all I've done is add sorrow and hurt to people. Maybe I'm not needed, not the least bit. And they say that if you're not good at 1 thing, you're bound to be good at another. Yah. So what am I good at. Not basketball. Not studies. Not in leadership stuff. (I was. I wonder what happened.) Not in social relationships. Not in my family. Not even really in church or in my spiritual life. What good am I?!
Yeah yeah we're all significant in God's eyes, He created all of us for a specific purpose and we're all important and special to Him, He even knows the number of hairs on each of our heads. He knit me in my mother's womb, He created my inmost being. We are never too small for God.
WHY is it I'm finding it so hard to believe I actually matter??!!
I can't stop looking at others and wishing I was just like them. My character is like warped and I don't know what good I can do with a personality like mine. I don't know myself. And yah, I don't love myself.
when you learn to love yourself
you're better off by far
and I hope you always stay the same
cause there's nothing bout you I would change
Really, how have I made a difference being here on earth?

6 billion people...6 billion souls...and sometimes all you need is one.
I'm tired of hiding. Pretending. But I realise that even though I try to come out from behind my facade, (yes, that word again. Too bad. Ok I've got an attitude problem. >.<> sigh.
it's become so natural to me. I realise something. Is it really that hard to tell when I'm unhappy?! (unless you know me very well, and I realise also that few come under this category.) Seriously. Sometimes I think that my black face shows it all, and people will notice that I'm quieter or am smiling less or something along that line, but no. I realise i really act very normal even when I'm hurting real badly inside. Like, I can force laughter and it sounds so real no one knows. Example? Last night. (after leng kee) Ok maybe some knew but didn't say anything. Don't know, whatever. But my point is just that it's really tiring bottling everything up and not being able to release it, because why! It's not even that I don't really want to, but more because my very nature just doesn't allow it. How dumb is that. Maybe I'm an alien from mars. No, I'd rather be from pluto. Oh and did you know that on 27 aug (I wonder whose birthday that is...hmmm.) mars is gonna be in orbit the closest ever to earth, and we will be able to see "2 moons"? Just to let you know.) So maybe you can't blame me for my facade. It's just part of my supposedly ever-cheerful, happy-go-lucky character (you couldn't be more wrong. It's just that my outside and inside are probably direct opposites. How do such people live? Maybe that's why my life is so weird. Maybe that's why I'M so weird.)

You know what I need? I know I know what I need.
A BREAK.
A serious break, dammit.
I need to stop feeling as though everything is just revolving around me and I'm living here physically but my mind and heart are totally not here at all. Need to feel like I'm actually here, in the PRESENT, and living. Get what I mean? Bet not. Yah sigh that's another thing about me- I don't trust people easily. No wonder people get pissed and frustrated with me. Oh well, I'm really sorry. I need the world to stop and wait for my recovery before I go on. But DUH, that's never gonna happen. Right now I feel like I'm living yet not living, every day just passes by and I'm in another realm of my own, things come and go and I just watch them pass, sometimes getting involved a bit...go to school, study, train, do homework, do QT, sleep...go to school...Occassional high like when I go to church or meet church friends, and then it's low all the way again...
I really need a break to stop and think and reflect.
I know the perfect solution. Stay up through one WHOLE night without sleeping/feeling sleepy. To dwell in the stillness and silence and THINK, think, think. And I'll probably need someone to talk to and obviously, the person must be able to stay up the whole night too. But I really need someone. I've stayed up so many times on my own, but found myself feeling so lonely and desperate for company. How pathetic. Man, I'm such a loser. And this reminds me that I STILL haven't gotten the chance to walk in the park alone/with someone at night. I mean like at a chalet or what. I walked alone at pasir ris park during PSB chalet, but that was in the morning. No atmosphere, no silence, no nothing. Definitely not as good as night.
See. My expectations are so ridiculous. DUH, no one's gonna be so wonderful to stay up through the night to listen and talk to me. Who in the right mind would want to?! Nuts! So yeah. Unfulfilled wish.
Frustrating, you know.

They say that when you face a problem, there're 2 ways to make yourself feel better:
1. be bold, stand up and face it, and solve it.
2. avoid it by getting something to distract you.
I think most of the time when there's some trouble nagging me, I'll be too preoccupied with other stuff I'm doing at that moment to address it, so I normally get distracted and just let it accumulate until at night when there's nothing else to think about and then everything just comes out in tears. And most of the time, it's also because there is NO solution to the problem. Or so I think.

Searching, searching, searching...still not finding anything.

Last night after leng kee training nata, seehwee and I went to the hawker centre with mr ong and ang to have dinner. And then 3 of us decided we weren't jungry so we didn't buy anything to eat. Nata left early and then went to eat char kway teow with her mum, seehwee ate a bowl of plain rice (how does she do that?! so tasteless!) and in the end I just ate a bit of the rojak. Was probably too full from drinking about 3 cans of drinks. And then mr ong gave me a lift back home and I was quite scared he was gonna ask me about why I looked so depressed and didn't talk much at dinner, but apparently he didn't realise and I didn't know whether to feel relieved or what. Anyway. We started talking about church and God and stuff and then he was telling me about extended Quiet Time and trusting God and all that, about how to put God at the CENTRE of our lives. It was really insightful and helpful, and I felt pretty encouraged. It's amazing how God just works through situations and people to being you something you need at that moment. I felt better after that talk, even though it wasn't even a stupid counselling thingo by a teacher to a loser depressed kid.
I know I'm one person who cannot live without people. I NEED people. And I also know I need encouragement to do things and when I face problems. Man, I need LOADS of encouragement from people. I need to know that people accept me and that they BELIEVE in me. I work so much better when others just say something like "you can do it!". Yeah, it's that simple. I just need others to believe I can, really.


At last. I'm done ranting. If you're reading this, congratulations? You managed to survive reading one whole long bout of verbal diarrhoea from a true LOSER. Unless, of course, you skipped all the way to the end. Oh that reminds me. NEVER EVER EVER tell me the ending of a story or a movie or a show or a reality series before I read/watch it. NEVER. I'll seriously get pissed off at you, for ruining my show. I really hate it when people do that.
So anyway, back to topic. I've reached the end! And I feel MUCH better now. Though this ntry just wasted more than an hour of my studytime. Whatever. Said I need a break. I'm not gonna function well if all these just keeps staying stuck inside me.

And oh no, because of one stupid comment, I'm beginning to question about our church...for the millionth time. I'm really not sure now, and sick of wondering already. Yet it doesn't seem to be getting better either...

Bye.
(this post was 2427 words long, not counting these words in brackets. If only I could write essays like that.)

I NEED one tree hill. >

"Looking back on what I said all those years ago, all the hopes and dreams I had, I've come to the conclusion that if having things turn out the way you wanted them to is a measure of a successful life, then some would say I'm a failure. The important thing is not to be bitter over life's disappointments. Learn to let go of the past, and recognize that every day won't be sunny. And when you find yourself lost in the darkness of despair remember, it's only in the black of night that you see the stars, and those stars lead you back home."


"Does this darkness have a name? This cruelty, this hatred, how did it find us? Did it steal into our lives, or did we seek it out and embrace it? What happened to us? That we now send our children into the world like we send young men to war... Hoping for their safe return... But knowing that some will be lost along the way. When did we lose our way? Consumed by the shadows, swallowed whole by the darkness. Does this darkness have a name? Is it your name?"


Sounds poetic. Hahaha.

I'm suffering from ONE TREE HILL WITHDRAWAL. :(

2 things I absolutely DETEST DESPISE ABHORE LOATHE HATE.
1. disappointment.
2. being wrongly accused.

happy YOUTH SUNDAY everyone from WOW!!
(wowwers. hahahaha.)

Wheeee. Yesterday and today can be considered 2 of the best days in my life! Whoopee! :) They were SPECIAL days :) Haha. But come to think of it, they weren't really. But it's the people I hung out with these 2 days that made it all so wonderful!
Wanna know my FAVOURITEST PEOPLE ever?
I bet you can guess! :D

Went for Youth Ministry Training convention? seminar? yesterday at Faith Methodist Church, with ethel, fiona, peggy, jane, arnette, jeremy, daniel sia. Was great. Just that it was like 3 talks in 1 day with short breaks in between to eat. And I am not one whose attention can be held for so long so even during that 2nd one I was starting to yawn and stone. Bleargh. But I did manage to get the message! Haha. And took notes! But yeah, they were really good. Clear, informative, helpful.
Can't imagine going to Faith as my church instead of BPMC. I hope my parents don't go back, or at least, if they do (they're members of that church after all), please don't take me along!!

Thereafter we (fiona, peggy, jeremy, jane and I) made our way back to church for Youth Sunday full-dress rehearsal. And we almost got to eat taco-pachi!!! Aww man! Yumyum. So. Worship/music prac lasted for a good 4 hours, cause the music team consisted of about 5 WLs/AWLs + 3 guitarists + 1 drummer + 2 pianist/keyboardist =11 members! And it was in the sanctuary so the technical stuff was pretty hard to handle too! And it was difficult to get so many people to co-ordinate! And I only got to prac dance with the team ONCE, on stage. And I forgot quite a few steps in the front :P Hahaha. And after that we went back to worship/music prac once again, the closing song and one final run-through. And I gotta say, I was pretty drained but somehow music NEVER makes me tired and I still felt like singing and singing non-stop:) I was more tired from standing. Haha. And like shouting into the mike cause I couldn't hear myself (nor anyone but yvonne and daniel).

At 9pm! We left church! At last! Had dinner/supper at Al Azaar with fiona + peggy + jane. (I realise if you spell peggy wrongly, it may come out as piggy. Haha. Sorry, was annotating LOTF before this.) YUMMY! I love cheese and egg prata :D And milo dino (which I didn't drink. I just make it in ah ma's house! Like today!!) I was pretty stoned by then. Out of the house since 8am?! And when we finished earing it was past 10! Hahaha. I love going out late nights man.

Came home and WOOTS! My parents weren't back yet! Alone in the house! :) I felt quite awake after bathing so I planned to stay up annotating LOTF. But then. I started on a poem (cause my emotions got the better of me, as they always do at night/early morning). And konked out halfway through (yes, the half-written poem is in my cap notebook where I store all poems now. Hahaha.). Gave up, washed up, went to sleep. YAWNNNNNN.

And then came YOUTH SUNDAY! (oh btw, it turned out NO ONE stayed up for soccer cause everyone was so tired from the practice yesterday! Haha! And had to wake up early to reach church at 745am! So yeah!) And for the 5th or so time this week, I was SO sleepy when I got up. There's seriously something REALLY wrong with me this past week! From wednesday on every morning in school I was energy-less and sleepy and tired and grouchy and irritable and all things related to TIRED. Could fall asleep in physics lesson, even. Argh. And my eyes hurt badly every day from the yawning and tearing and rubbing. So it wasn't different yesterday, nor today. What has happened to my energy?!! Drained?! YIKES!! That can't be! NOO! Ok, back to this morning. I went to church with half-red and half-closed eyes, sinus, and a limp body (as though it'd collapse any moment!). And was telling peggy about how tired I was and all that. Blahblah. Haha. Even before service I hadn't awakened fully yet. Should have seen me. Haha. Ask fiona/charmaine. I was DEAD, like. really. dead. Could have konked out on the comfortable cushioned seat!

Oh and we held hands and said a prayer (as a dance team) before service! And it felt GOOD. Real good:) Like, the knowledge that God was behind all we had done, all the effort we had put in, all the practices, yay! We had made it to the DAY! And we were so so so so happy to be able to dance to glorify God on YOUTH SUNDAY :D

So like I said, I never get tired from music, rather, it makes me high. So I woke up a bit after worship in songs. Oh the sermon was by Reverend Mark DeVries (or Fries?! or what? :S) and he was just as funny as yesterday! Hahaha! I LOVED the story of that baseball guy. MAN, I almost could feel that humiliation and disappointment in oneself like that poor boy did. I mean, it's the same for basketball! Like, maybe a winning free throw. (oh and soccer too. Haha.)

Then. DANCE!!!!! And I got pretty freaked out and nervous. When he ended the sermon kinda abruptly and I realised it was time for offering and doxology and then...yes. Haha. Charmaine said I sounded high when I was reading the synopsis. Yeah, I think I did too, with my tone. Haha. Then they took kinda long to start the music and because I just ran off after the synopsis, plee thought, "huh? like that? then erh, where's the dance?!" HAHA, joke!
So yup! DANCE DANCE DANCE!! It went well, I think! Based on the comments from the so-many people after that! :) They said LAURA was good! Whee congrats laura! :) Yay. So happy and thankful to GOD and the TEAM! I mean, seriously. We went through pretty much, a LOT. From the week before celebration sunday (4 june) till now. Frustrations, irritance, desperation, panic, on-the-verge-of-giving-up moments, phonecalls, messages, practices, talks, prayers, tearing my hair out, crying, worrying...

And Reverend Mark DeVries (or fries or what) was shaking hands as we exited the hall, and when he saw me his eyes lit up and he took a big breath and was like, "You did an AWESOME job, dancing!" And then he lifted both hands in a high-5 position and slapped mine. And he went on to ask me if I'd choreographed it and that he has a "kind of sensitivity to this sorta thing" cause his daughter's a dance teacher! Aww man. SO COOL! Hahahahaha. He was really nice. And ENCOURAGING! I know I need that, a lot.
And wanna know something funny? Plee's mum said I was GRACEFUL. HAHAHAHAHA!! Joke of the century! We weren't even doing ballet. Hmm. But still, OOOOK. Graceful?! Let me think about that.
And yeah, LOADSa people came up to me and praised the dance and everything:)
BUT BUT!! I know that there was no audience but GOD when we were dancing, and so I'll lift it all up to Him alone. Really, thank God.

And that still wasn't the end of Youth Sunday! The whole WOW (almost) crowded in the youth room upstairs and I promise you, it was the NOISIEST I've ever heard the youth room be. You had to YELL to someone next to you to be heard. And we were yelling our voices hoarse! Haha! And april and eric (the other speakers for yest) came up to visit! And we talked to them and MAN, eric can just raise his hand and touch the ceiling like nothing. We all JUMP. Hah!! And he plays basketball!!! :D Played. But same lah. Haha. And he said I was SHY. Hahahaha. 2nd best entry in the 21st century joke book. I was thinking, ???!!!!!!
I TOLD you ang mors are REALLY FRIENDLY people!! They're naturally nice to anyone and everyone, including strangers! :)

1 thing I'd say about today?
WOW.
HAHAHA, get it get it? But yeah, it's true. It was a blast, and all went well despite all the little difficulties we faced in preparation yest and this morning. (including that main service guy who practically BIT us. Hahaha.) Oh did I mention yvonne's admirably patient? I'd have bao-zha-ed earlier if I were in her shoes.

WOOHOOOHOOOOO TO GOD BE THE PRAISE AND GLORY FOREVERMORE, AMEN! XD

(happy watching soccer tomorrow morning!! FRANCE! :) )

I. <3.> WOW.

QUIZZES! hahaha!

Your Career Type: Artistic

You are expressive, original, and independent.Your talents lie in your artistic abilities: creative writing, drama, crafts, music, or art. You would make an excellent: Actor - Art Teacher - Book Editor Clothes Designer - Comedian - Composer Dancer - DJ - Graphic DesignerIllustrator - Musician - Sculptor The worst career options for your are conventional careers, like bank teller or secretary.

Your Personality Profile

You are dependable, popular, and observant. Deep and thoughtful, you are prone to moodiness. In fact, your emotions tend to influence everything you do. You are unique, creative, and expressive. You don't mind waving your freak flag every once and a while. And lucky for you, most people find your weird ways charming!

HAHAHAHA. this is amusing.

Your Extroversion Profile:

Activity Level: High

Cheerfulness: High

Excitement Seeking: High

Friendliness: High

Sociability: High

Assertiveness: Medium

Your Inner Child Is Surprised

You see many things through the eyes of a child.Meaning, you're rarely cynical or jaded.You cherish all of the details in life.Easily fascinated, you enjoy experiencing new things.

What Your Face Says

At first glance, people see you as down to earth and reliable. Overall, your true self is moody and dynamic. With friends, you seem logical, detached, and a bit manipulative. In love, you seem mysterious and interesting. In stressful situations, you seem sad and helpless.

HUH?!

Your Hidden Talent

You have the power to persuade and influence others. You're the type of person who can turn a whole room around. The potential for great leadership is there, as long as you don't abuse it. Always remember, you have a lot more power over people than you might think!

What Your Soul Really Looks Like

You are a warm hearted and open minded person. It's easy for you to forgive and forget. You are a very grounded, responsible, and realistic person. People may not want to hear the truth from you, but they're going to get it. You see yourself with pretty objective eyes. How you view yourself is almost exactly how other people view you. Your near future is calm, relaxing, and pretty much what you want. And it's something you've been anticipating for a while now. For you, love is all about caring and comfort. You couldn't fall in love with someone you didn't trust.

You Have Low Self Esteem 52% of the Time

While you sometimes feel good about yourself, you tend to struggle a little with self esteem issues.It's not about changing who you are, it's about accepting your faults. You just need to be less critical and demanding of yourself!

You Are 19 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

Your Personality Is

Idealist (NF) You are a passionate, caring, and unique person.You are good at expressing yourself and sharing your ideals. You are the most compassionate of all types and connect with others easily.Your heart tends to rule you. You can't make decisions without considering feelings. You seek out other empathetic people to befriend.Truth and authenticity matters in your friendships. In love, you give everything you have to relationships. You fall in love easily. At work, you crave personal expression and meaning in your career. With others, you communicate well. You can spend all night talking with someone. As far as your looks go, you've likely taken the time to develop your own personal style. On weekends, you like to be with others. Charity work is also a favorite pastime of yours.

Can't believe I spent about 3 hours in school doing this crap. Haha. We need a break sometimes yah. And I was so happy about my math test that I feel the need to CELEBRATE!! :D YEAH!!! Jteo said some of my answers were correct. Oh no. I hope the rest are tooo! :)

zokay I'd better go. No more slacking! BYEE! :)

HAPPY YOUTH DAY!!! :)
Woohoo. I survived the 1st week of school. *pats my own back* And on tuesday there's gonna be a math test! Like, YEAH MAN! THAT'S GREAT! I was DYING to be tested once I came back to school after 1 whole fantabulous month of fun!
Ok I can't blog for long so I shall cut out the details.

It's 341am. WOOTS. Now I don't feel guilty about napping for 3 hours in ahma's house. As long as at night/morning I stay up, I'm perfectly fine with it. For tonight/morning, I have to finish my Beyond the Window poem, read geog tb and ss notes. And if that's not enough to make me sleepy, I can do physics. Work done and energy. Lol.
crappy hehheh counterparts. LOL!


So you tell me you want it and then it comes and you don't say a word. And you just leave me to be all alone, left out, a sad loser, shut out. And you laugh and think it doesn't hurt me. And just turn away and go back to your little fun. Cut out the act. It's not that difficult to see through. So easy for that and so hard for me. Weird looks, raised eyebrows, tactful words. Yeah. So I'm the freak. Alright, go ahead then. I'm trying to give up.
And the frustration sets in...once again.

We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature - trees, flowers, grass- grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence... We need silence to be able to touch souls.
-Mother Teresa

Silences make the real conversations between friends. Not the saying but the never needing to say is what counts.
-Margaret Lee Runbeck

Music and silence combine strongly because music is done with silence, and silence is full of music.
-Marcel Marceau

And the quotation in my CAP mentorship portfolio:
There are times when silence has the loudest voice.
- Leroy Brownlow.

http://en.thinkexist.com/quotations/silence/

Want an explanation for my new email? There you go.