God's child
dance
music
basketball
loves people!!! :D

"let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful." hebrews 10:23

live for others. make a difference.

insanity.
I think I'm becoming insane. I mean, really. I don't mean my USUAL going high for no reason kinda insanity,me as a hyper retard, but really, insane INSANE.
After he pissed me off I decided it was too much and I forgot my homework and came online. 1 hour. And it didn't make me feel the least bit better cause there was practically no one online to talk to. And so I went off. Read hannah's letter. I like reading hannah's letters (: She is a really good crapper, just like me! (: And so, reading it made me feel a teeny weeny bit better. But then I stared at LOTF and my mind totally blanked out and I felt sick, sick to the bone. Don't ask why. So I walked to the kitchen and thought whether I should eat or not, and decided not to. Wasn't and am not that hungry. So I should wait until my stomach really starts hurting and I cannot take it anymore then eat, so it isn't wasted.
I need a weighing scale in our house.
Ok so I stoned in the kitchen and still felt SO SICK. As though I was gonna faint on the spot man. Tried to get my thoughts straight, but no, I don't even know what was running through my mind. Walked back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and went to my room and checked my phone and it was just a black screensaver. PFFT. And then just as I was thinking about how much I wished for company, I heard it vibrate. Like, WHOA, THANK GOD man. Twas plee, regarding tonight's planet shakers. (I find it funny that claire calls them SHAKERS. Like, what?!!! Sounds like a musical instrument!) And so I'm not going tonight. Wow, I thought I was fickle-minded, but I've stayed on that decision since sunday already. And then I sat on my bed and thought somemore, rather, TRIED to think (why's it so difficult to think man!), and finally jumped off, irritated with myself, and came here. And so sarah saw me go offline then come on again. How stupid. Of me, I mean. Told you I'm fickle-minded.

Really. What's with this stupid crazy INSANE LONELINES that I'm feeling almost all the time now man! What the FRIG!
Claire, jamie and i were talking about being an only child the other day, and claire says she LOVES it. Woohooo, wow. I don't know about myself. For now, I really like it. Really really really. For privacy and freedom to do what I want man. As long as my parents aren't at home or my mum's working and my dad's sleeping (what else does he do - eat, sleep, read the newspapers.) BUT loneliness is an issue. And I think when I'm becoming insane, are you sure being an only child is good?

Thing is, I bet you can't tell I'm going insane if you were to just see me face-to-face and not read my blog right? Bet if I hadn't posted all those recent entries, no one would even GUESS that I'm feeling this way. RIGHT? AM I RIGHT? AM I NOT RIGHT? I'M RIGHT, RIGHT? No one can tell from my face man. I think I look perfectly fine and normal to anyone like during training, going out, or just hanging out, bumming around, whatever. You really can't tell.
And I'm not TRYING to hide ok. Maybe it's just natural. Oh geez. What if I'm becoming an introvert. The stupid career stuff. I pity Mr Ives Tay, don't you? Anyway, yeah, what if I'm becoming an introvert. Realise that all the social stuff they ask, last time I could truthfully say I love bging with people and all that but now I've doubts about my answers. NOOOOOOOOO I DON'T WANNA BE A STUPID INTROVERT.

And about FOP and planet shakers. I don't know ok?? OK????!!!!!!!! It's pissing me off man.

I don't want and want to post this entry.

Maybe the world hates me.

where i don't belong.