07 October 2006
12:45 AM
lots of thinksbehind the scenesI despise being behind the scenes.
you in the limelight,
me by the dark side.
the necessary loser,
insignificant signifier,
stain of black sauce in your rice bowl.
it's dark in here.
the curtains are heavy.
the applause roaring in my ears
as my mouth twitches into a faint smile
for you.
not for me, not myself,
no.
the lights will never spill on backstage,
eyes never turn to the wings.
(i suppose i was made to be.)
you know you need me
your stage manager
your unpopular sidekick
connected yet unwanted
attached yet glared upon
with steely, disgusted, disapproving eyes
that cut into flesh with the keenness of knife
knife of jealousy,
hurt,
disappointment.
i want front-line indispensability.
no nothing behind the scenes.
the stage belongs to me
and i to it.
narcissist, you say.
that's my desperation cry.
i know i'm your necessity
but i hate being behind the scenes.
“poems has the word “emo” within it. And you know when people have typo errors and mean to type “so” but type “sp” instead? Yeah, that would make “poems”, “so emo”.
Cool eh? :)
I haven’t even blogged about my birthday, geez. To sum it up (cause it’s already so late anyway, and it’s not like I’m gonna find time any time soon to write it out really long and nicely), this year’s birthday was
AWESOME. :D
Made awesome by these lovely lovely people (yes, I apologise for my limited vocab):
basketballers! claire, olly, yen, jamie, nata, sihui, alina, athena, hannah, mr ang too!
cousins! ethel and eve!church friends! (too many to list, but i'll try) charmaine (I OWE YOU THANK YOU LOADS LOADS LOADS XD), fiona, dawn, yvonne, pleeeeee, jane, justin, sherwin, jared, zach, daniel, amos, melpoh, meltee, priscilla, andrea, amadea, shermaine, seeyue, lizgan...Start from 30 sept, lunchtime.Lunch with my mum at home.
Went out to Rave to cut my fringe and thin my hair. (THANKS SHARLENE for covering it :) ) I want to cut my fringe even more :P For the fun and risk. Wheezah.
Walked to Urban Warehouse (yes olly! remind me we have to go there! and FOS too!!! :) ) to shop around. Bought WHITE slippers! (i suddenly have this thing about purity...no i'm just kidding.) So preeetttyyyy. Ahahaha.
Went to meet eve and ethel at plaza sing, then we walked to the Cathay Ben and Jerry's to PIG OUT ON ICE-CREAM!!!! XD Well, not pig out, just spent the $20 voucher on what we could get. Mm yummmm merlion monster or something like that :P 6 flavours with waffle and brownie and banana. THANK YOU ETHEL AND EVE! Cousins rock, yesyes. The fantasticest people in the world.
Walked around in the Cathay enjoying the SPACE and bright white lighting of the whole area. Really quite cool. Me being muggertoad, made a comment - yup, you guessed it! - "wow, great place for studying." :P
Oh and just a side note, ethel walked into the wrong escalator 3 TIMES. 3 TIMES, MAN. (but we kinda followed her :P talk about blind leading the blind.)
Oh just another side note, there's this REEEEEEEEALLY dark and freaky ALLEY that can be a shortcut to their house if you're walking form the bus-stop outside. And it's seriously the best place to get raped, I tell you. EEEE. *goosebumps*
Reached their house, admired their house for the 10th time?!
Ate LOTS of tidbits that I can't remember now. Studied whatever SS I could considering my concentration level at that time.
Called charmaine at about 11, talked till 1230? AND YESYESYESYESYES!!!!!!! I sorta counted down on the phone :D It was SO fun.
Reading birthday messages time. (birthdays are for feeling special and loved, seriously.)
Online until about 3+ before I decided I'd better sleep - match in the afternoon!
Oh I'm yawning. Ok time to sleep. TBC, another day:) Just WAIT for the basketball part :) It's DA best :D
By the way! I just promoted TURQUOISE to my favourite colour and orange shall be 2nd! Turquoise is so much more UNIQUE xD
Night for now.
