16 November 2006
1:01 PM
the wreck i've become.i need one tree hill
and music
and yeah, maybe dance
and late night phonecalls
and stayovers
and music, lots of music
and friends
and YOU
and GOD.
right now i have Hillsong blasting in my ears. and i'm wondering, how crappy this is, i'm turning away from God and all and i'm going all "i need God" and listening to Christian
lyrics and talking religion. hypocritical.
if everything around me just makes me sad, is it me or is it the world?
stupid question.
happy holidays? maybe next time.
and oh, right, you mentioned potential? well, maybe that escaped long ago.
where is the love?
where is the hope?
so now it's training, work, icyl? and sleep. and if you count the lunches with bball friends which are probably the saving grace.
1 more hour before i go for work. i'm glad.
sometimes i want to forget. but the help of ignorance doesn't last. sooner or later, you gotta face the truth. you gotta look your problems right in the eye and either run away and meet them someday again, cringe to a corner and cry, or step up to the challenge. distractions work sometimes, but never for long. why push away? face the fight. live the dream. (i miss becky - that was her class' motto in sec 1)
in
step up, they said that if you want something that badly, you gotta FIGHT FOR IT.
i wanna fight for it, i do. but fight alone? that possible? what about the material part of it? like finance?
maybe my eardrums are just gonna burst from this blasting music, but youknowwhat, who cares.
i wanna go ouuutttt.
wait, take that back.
i NEED to go out.
i need my friends,
so badly.
just what is this dark pool that i'm swimming in?
connection with the outside world.
poems.
everything's changed.so, with quivering hands, jelly legs and crumbling heart, i walk on.
