God's child
dance
music
basketball
loves people!!! :D

"let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful." hebrews 10:23

live for others. make a difference.

so I’m back from retreat.
glad and thankful I am for the wonderful experience.
there’s so much to say about what I learnt, though, so I will take more time to blog it in more detail another day.
for now, this is what I’ll say:
it was like what i'd expected, which was quality personal reflection time, serious quietening down of my heart and listening to God's whisper, and thinking back on this year and getting REFRESHED for 2007.
the prayer stations were goooooooooood :)
thank God!
k, to be cont'd.

i need to do my 2006 year-end reflections. SOON.

been sleeping past 5 for about 5 days running. average 4 hours of sleep each day. i'm gonna drop dead any time soon. hahaha THANK ME k, the only reason i stayed up was to finish YOUR CARDS AND PRESENTS, all you people! :)

i wanna stayover tonight but ah, too much stuff to finish up at home. Lighthouse Woodlands tomorrow.

wow, i'm starting to blog without caps again. a sign? for what. hahaha whatever.

HOW HOW HOW?????? no time left! how to finish presents!

christmas day: Lighthouse, go out/stay at home to finish presents :((((((((((((((((
boxing day: family outing
wednesday-friday: REFRESH RETREAT :D
saturday: STUDY FOR MATH TEST, finish presents, REFLECTIONS
sunday: moan and groan over the nearness of sec4 :(((((
monday: moan and groan even more, pack bag, study math round 2

a little bit more of getting to know the person i am.

ONE TREE HILLLLLL. oh and i miss prison break already.
hahahahahahaha.
laughter and yawning are both contagious. you know that, don't you? you do, right? RIGHT?!

an ipod nano for christmas.
unbelievable.
thank you SO much.
<3!

christmas is so stressful! grah!
-cards
-presents
-WOW CHRISTMAS PARTY!!!
-retreat!

to do today:
1. get nata and deanna's presents
2. sharlene's present
3. charmaine's present and card
4. wrap basketballers' presents
5. basketballers' cards
6. SONG PREPARATION FOR RETREAT WORSHIP
7. CALL WORSHIP TEAM MEMBERS AND ARRANGE PRACTICE
8. WOW CHRISTMAS PARTY CARD

to do tomorrow:
1. eve, ethel, mildred's presents
2. gek khim, andrea, priscilla, peggy's presents
3. fiona's present
4. PRINT CHRISTMAS PARTY DOOR GIFT CARDS
5. claire's and deanna's presents

to do on saturday:
1. all christmas cards
2. wrap WOWwers' presents
3. worship prac 10am

to do after christmas and before school starts:
1. vinna, ro, kaiyan, joy's presents + cards
2. wrap and make jamie and alina's presents + cards
3. sarah's present
4. claire's present
5. clean and clear (neutrogena? xD) my room
6. STUDY FOR THAT LAMO MATH TEST (what's tested? :p)

tight tight tight schedule!! GO CHERYL! :)

on me
christmas is coming.
aw man, i can't believe it.
this time, i'm not looking forward to it.
it's come too soon, way too soon.
really, ever since we came back from taiwan, time sorta accelerated and wowee, here we are at the 2nd last week of december.
i don't wanna go back to school.
don't even wanna think about it.
I NEED MY HOLIDAYS, MAN!
whatever happened to starting christmas card-making early? i've barely started.
and presents,heh. alright i'm almost done. pretty much know what i'm getting anyway, so all i gotta do is go out and get em!
tomorrow = xmas shopping round urm, 3? go me :)

i counted, i'm buying 50 presents for 50 people in total.

no more week full of basketball matches every evening. well, i enjoyed it and it was indeed a great substitute for training. and there was lots to learn from those 12 matches, plus the takeaways from taiwan. i'm gonna miss training, but it's nice to know we're going back for weights (well, maybe only today), and anyway most of this week i'm gonna be hanging out with batchmates.

i like making lists.

i love:
talking on the phone. diary-writing/blogging. listening to music. going out. batch. church. dance. designing cards/presents. wentworth miller. one tree hill. prison break. poems. turquoise. brown. ikea. notebooks. room. perfect eyesight. scenery.

random:
1. i pee way too much. i even have a record.
2. according to not just one person, i argue about the stupidest things.
3. according to the same people, i'm too sensible about anything and everything for my own good.
4. clean toilets make me really happy.
5. i think sleep is a waste of time and i force myself to stay awake as long as possible every day.
6. i don't like com games nor arcades.
7. i don't enjoy watching comedies.
8. i love foolscap.
9. i wish i could be an interior designer but my art is a goner.
10. i have double eyelid on only my left eye.

i don't wanna grow up old.
i don't wanna be sec 4, and i don't wanna go to JC.

when i love something a lot, i expect to be good at it and for it to make me feel happy.

i miss piano :(

i haven't studied for that math test. grah, whatevs.

today, we (me yen olly nata hannah deanna) made up the deuter-plus-one gang. they all had deuter bags except for me. so deanna pulled out nata's strap support thing that had the word deuter on it and velcro-d it onto my strap. thereyougo, we made the deuter gang. how cool is that :)

ikea is a wonderful place.

i like being happy. who can not like being happy?!

i wonder what i'll get for christmas :p

i'm going out shopping in about 5 hours and i should really go get some sleep huh.
morning, folks.

Why
by Annie Lennox
How many times do I have to try to tell you
That I'm sorry for the things I've done
But when I start to try to tell you
That's when you have to tell me
Hey... this kind of trouble's only just begun
I tell myself too many times
Why don't you ever learn to keep your big mouth shut
That's why it hurts so bad to hear the words
That keep on falling from your mouth
Falling from your mouth
Falling from your mouth
Tell me...
Why
Why

I may be mad
I may be blind
I may be viciously unkind
But I can still read what you're thinking
And I've heard it said too many times
That you'd be better off
Besides...
Why can't you see this boat is sinking
(this boat is sinking this boat is sinking)
Let's go down to the water's edge
And we can cast away those doubts
Some things are better left unsaid
But they still turn me inside out
Turning inside out turning inside out
Tell me...
Why
Tell me...
Why

This is the book I never read
These are the words I never said
This is the path I'll never tread
These are the dreams I'll dream instead
This is the joy that's seldom spread
These are the tears...
The tears we shed
This is the fear
This is the dread
These are the contents of my head
And these are the years that we have spent
And this is what they represent
And this is how I feelDo you know how I feel
'cause i don't think you know how I feel
I don't think you know what I feel
I don't think you know what I feel
You don't know what I feel

i'm trying, k. honest.
and, well, i can't help it you like her more.
sorry, but i AM trying.

i abhore biasness.

there can be miracles when you believe
Over-quoted song yes, but whatever. There's a reason it's over-quoted, y'know.

Basketball is going pretty much, NOT well for me. I'm getting increasingly worried after each match. I mean, others took about 1 year to improve this much. How can I expect to reach that same standard within these 2 months?! I'm supposed to be THERE ALREADY but no, I'm just waaaaaaaaaay behind. And well, it's not just that I'm not progressing, but well, I'm just backsliding further and further. HOW TIMELY.
Ok I deduced that I need to train. I know myself, I cannot remain consistent unless I train on and on. And when I do become off, it's really cmi off, like NOW. It's like my tan. Only stays if I stay under the sun regularly for a long period; goes away once I start staying indoors for a while. Same thing, I really need to train regularly to keep up my progress. And well, I haven't trained for more than 2 weeks.
Tomorrow, I'm gonna go to school and shoot free throws and UNDERBASKETS (Geeeeeeeeeeez. I can't say anything for that. No explanations. Just, WHAT THE.) Whatever happened to 80%?! GO GET IT BACK!

This must be one of my saddest december holidays in quite a few years. I don't wanna regret, I'm still trying to relive my happiness in these remaining 3 weeks And well, it'd have to start from PERFORMING IN MATCHES.

Anyway, I've finally found the reason God didn't allow me to go for the mission trip and AM I THANKFUL. So thankful. All the more I'm gonna baowo for these matches. I cannot cannot cannot cannot CANNOT afford to waste any of them!

With man, this is impossible. But with God, all things are possible.

Captain's ball with vinna's church youth group was fun :) 2nd, yea! xD Thoroughly enjoyed the company and games. There's this awesome thing about going to new churches, it's that you can be assured the people are gonna be sooooo friendly to you, and it's not hard to feel welcome. All you need to do is be friendly back to them, and they'll just express so much love and acceptance. :)
VINNA I MISS YOU.

Friendship scares and amazes me sometimes.
I wanna find you. I believe you're somewhere, out there, and I hope I find you soon.
Oh geez that sounded like looking for LOVE. Blargh. Not what I meant.

It's so true, if I did have an ipod, I'd DIE without it. But now that I never had it before, I want one really badly too anyway.
MUSIC PLEASE.

have faith have faith have faith have faith
you can do it you can do it you can do it you can do it

"George Eliot once wrote: 'There is no despair so absolute as that which comes with the first moments of our first great sorrow, when we have not yet known what it is to have suffered and healed, to have despaired and have recovered hope."

if only this were a monopoly game.
chances would come.

i've lost all belief in myself.
why do you?
i'll just let you down.

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maybe if you saw the tears i cried, you'd send me to a psychiatrist.

please don't.

Keep Holding On
by Avril Lavigne
You're not alone
Together we stand
I'll be by your side
You know I'll take your hand
When it gets cold
And it feels like the end
There's no place to go
You know I won't give in
No, I won't give in

Keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through
Just stay strong
Cause you know I'm here for you
I'm here for you
There's nothing you can say
Nothing you can do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So, keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through

So far away
I wish you were here
Before it's too late
This could all disappear
Before the door's closed
And it comes to an end
With you by my side
I will fight and defend
I'll fight and defend, yeah, yeah

Keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through
Just stay strong
Cause you know I'm here for you
I'm here for you
There's nothing you can say
Nothing you can do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So, keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through

Hear me when I say
When I say I believe.
Nothing's gonna change
Nothing's gonna change destiny
Whatever's meant to be
Will work out perfectly
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
La da da da, la da da da
La da da da da da da da da

Keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through
Just stay strong
Cause you know I'm here for you
I'm here for you
There's nothing you can say
Nothing you can do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So, keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through
Ahh, ahh

Keep holding on
Ahh, ahh
Keep holding on
There's nothing you can say
Nothing you can do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So, keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through

I was just writing in my diary when that song came on the radio. God speaks in wondrous ways.

Joy's quote is cute.

I came online this morning and when I switched on the com, I totally remembered how I missed that nathanial hawthorne quote that would meet my eyes every time I logged onto windows, giving me inspiration for the day.
each day is a new beginning, each struggle a new battle, each shot a new chance.
are you gonna let that slip away?

you're the meaning in my life, you're the inspiration!
hahaha.

HYEH. xD

loneliness must be one of the saddest issues that humans face. man, i might just die of it soon.
i don't wanna feel lonely no more.
i don't wanna feel empty no more.
only you could unbreak this heartache i carry around
don't wanna be lonely no more, no more.
music can talk.

I'll admit it - I'm scared. I'm TERRIFIED. Just like I was yesterday. I've too little faith, and too little courage.
when you're scared, you can't be brave.
I don't wanna be scared.
the rest is up to you. only you can make the change.

This morning, I thought HARD about what rgs basketball means to me. And I wrote one whole diary page on it. The phrasing's yucky I think, even though I tried. My vocab is just, bleargh. Anyway, yeah! In the thinking process, I actually had 3 phases, hahaha. All written down, pretty funny I guess, bit serious tone la. Anyway, yeah. I'm glad I've got it out on paper, at least I have somewhere to refer to if I ever need it. Basketball has taught me so much, if you were to ask me to sum it up my best effort could probably take up 1500 words.
Reflections for taiwan - done.

I'm gonna watch the whole oth s3 again! Yeeha. Go me.

do you love me less than the rest?

faith
how far can faith take one?
and what if you always had but it always let you down.
still.
no reason not to try.
thank God for my ex motto.

anyway, i'm sorry, to everyone. really. and i won't say much cause the best apology will not be expressed in mere words but in my actions on court. and so, i'm thoroughly thankful for your faith in me and i hope with all my heart that i won't let you down again. i'm sorry, so sorry.

NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER GIVE UP! GO CHERYL!

i'll remember taiwan. man, i'll SO remember taiwan. as badly as it hurts, i will remember it.
WHY DOES IT ALWAYS HAVE TO TURN OUT LIKE THIS?

i have faith in faith. /edit. i WANNA have faith.
i don't want no more sad songs.

how far will faith take me?