God's child
dance
music
basketball
loves people!!! :D

"let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful." hebrews 10:23

live for others. make a difference.

this is probably the bestest ever poem i've ever written in my entire life (no, seriously), and this is how it goes:

this is a poem (in case you didn't know)














it's only the end that matters.

basketball game
shine the lights, spill it over like a
flood into their hearts.
light up the faces of the hopeful
as, arms linked, they step into the light,
beyond the curtains.
this is holy ground.

beyond these walls another world exists.
walking through the doors was switching zones,
nothing matters more.

this is how it begins
this is how it goes
this is how it ends, after
40 minutes of dashing
shooting
pushing
pressing
heart-wrangling
guarding
cheering
trying
fighting -
the number trails
as by its side the target mocks and climbs,
its pace a fraction of the previous'.
(it never began well.)
this is how it ends -
right: the blinding red values never wait.
left: they never catch up.

through the doors now, it looks
different.
food's not laid out, drinks aren't fizzy.
clouds are hanging lower in the sky,
the grass has grown longer.
the pavement looks starkly plain, dirty, unwelcoming.
the sun's on the other side.

this faith struggle - where does it lead?
this promise of harvest,
this journey -
how does it end?

as the lights dim, they take their
final bow,
turn their heads as behind them

the ball flies through the air in a
rainbow-like arc,
swishes through the net at perfect angle
to drop to the court with a hard
thump,
rolls over to the baseline - out.

darkness engulfs the stadium;

no one retrieves the ball.

"i can see you're tired, it's written all over your face."
thank God for you.

random thoughts as i mug through the night starting 9pm ending 140am
at 0029: i wanna watch lord of the rings!!! GOD, PLEASE END EXAMS NOW. (music: At the Sign of the Prancing Pony from the LOTR soundtrack)
at 0035: oh no. i'm hungry. why am i hungry?!?!?!?!?! (i felt a few sudden pangs of hunger)
at 0042: AAAAHHHH FOP!!!!!! (music: History Maker by delirious?)
0048: i feel like going downstairs for a walk. and, who would be burning joss sticks at this time of the night?!(smelt burning from downstairs)
0053: ohmy, it's almost 1 and i haven't started on lit.
0054: my eyesight...
0104: crap i just yawned.
0106: i should start compiling my list of things to do after EYAs. i am sure to include night cycling; watching one tree hill (OH MY I MISS IT SO MUCH), grey's anatomy, prison break, lord of the rings; sleeeeeeping; training; okay time to continue studying.
0110: (ooh that's the same number as my birthday. hahaha) OOOHH YES I'M GOING TO CHURCH TODAY!! what a happy thought :)))))))))
0113: (reads 407's SMEs ppt, which used tempus sans) why do i always relate the tempus sans font to elephants?! (thinks) oh yes. in p4 i did a project on endangered species at adilah's house and we used tempus sans for the elephants. WAHAHAH.
0141: aahhh 13pg of ss notes to print. this is really xin tong. :(
ok i didn't even touch lit, sigh. but i don't wanna wear specs. so, goodnight.

Rising Five
"I'm rising five," he said
"Not four" and the little coils of hair
Un-clicked themselves upon his head.
His spectacles, brimful of eyes to stare
At me and the meadow, reflected cones of light
Above his toffee-buckled cheeks.
He'd been alive
Fifty-six months or perhaps a week more;
Not four
But rising five.

Around him in the field, the cells of spring
Bubbled and doubled; buds unbuttoned; shoot
And stem shook out the creases from their frills,
And every tree was swilled with green.
It was the season after blossoming,
Before the forming of the fruit:
Not May
But rising June.

And in the sky
The dust dissected the tangential light:
Not day
But rising night;
Not now
But rising soon.

The new buds push the old leaves from the bough.
We drop our youth behind us like a boy
Throwing away his toffee-wrappers.
We never see the flower,
But only the fruit in the flower; never the fruit,
But only the rot in the fruit.
We look for the marriage bed
In the baby's cradle; we look for the grave in the bed;
Not living
But rising dead.

Norman Nicholson

MY UNCLE IS GIVING ME HIS GUITAR!!!!!!!!!!
i'm feeling so happy wahahahaha.
am i blessed, or am i blessed? :)
everyone is blessed.

Rev Dr A. R. Bernard was awesome today. i dunno how to summarise what he preached, cause he himself had already summarised a pretty extensive topic into this morning's sermon and as he said, there could be so much more elaboration. but the message got through, it sure did. :)
there wasn't a title for his sermon (there never is, and i don't understand why. haha. so i usually make up titles after the speaker's done.), but i like to call it this:
Achieving Success the Godly Way in an Ungodly World.
yeaa!! :D haha sorry. pretty cheap thrill eh.
wellll. being contented with the simplest things is one way to live a life of thanksgiving, i reckon.
SPIRITUAL DISCIPLINE!
sorry sheesh hahaha this thing is turning out so incoherent.

God of my forever
and forever i'm with You
my life is saved with a price
Your sacrifice redeemed my soul
God of my forever
and forever I will sing
My greatest honour will always be
To serve my Lord and King

the handmaid's tale is making me count my blessings even more.
counting your blessings is actually really fun. everyone should try it someday (: hahaha.
okay i'm going mad. (BUT I'M GETTING A GUITAR! HOW TERRIFIC AMAZING AWESOME FANTABULASTIC EXCITING IS THAT!! :DDD)

alrighteo sleepyweepy time, goodnight babes!

i need to charge my ipod. zzz.

ok i hate the word, but, i'm feeling emo now.

i came on at 10 to look for people to talk to cause studying physics was boring me to tears. and yeah many people started talking to me and they were people i actually wanted to talk to and we were talking stuff, so it made me quite happy (: and then short but nice phonecall with claire!
buuuuuut. when i came back on i watched the ryan marissa video with What Hurts The Most (tsk wx i blame you. hahaha) (and gah,maybe i should have just continued watching the oc, as trashy as it was/is). and then suddenly everyone was disappearing offline without saying bye/simply not replying/Away/had to go off. so my msn windows remained pathetically unblinking for quite a while while i stoned. and tried to read my physics notes.
and when i wanted to go off, people started replying again.

ok that doesn't sufficiently explain my emo-ness does it.
i need to stay up tonight mugging physics. whee go me.

loony bin ftw, totally. <3!

411'07, I LOVE YOU!
national day was really awesome, i've hardly had so much fun with the entire class before. most of the time it's the lit gang, and well today it was more or less too, but at least it felt like a class thing since we were all gathered around on the amphi floor.
man, i really do love my class. thank God :)
at least this came earlier than my 208 one.
2 weeks left to this sickening period, and after that i'm seriously just gonna have all the fun i can have with everybody in rgs. how exciting eh!
and the float parade was pretty funny, haha. can't deny it was fun!

let's backtrack a bit. this is going to be a long post.

2 nights at FOP were totally splendid. could literally feel the holy spirit fall upon the entire stadium and anoint each and every one there to worship God with their voices. andand OMG, I CAN S.I.T.! it's so cool it amazes me!

i'll be honest, church (city harvest) and cell group make me very happy now. it's the same as or even better than the last time i said i live every day of the week just to see sunday come (that was back then in wow; by that i mean happy wow not complicated wow.) i do look forward to every friday night and sunday now :)

i sorta had a few moments of enlightenment this week. haha. but i shant talk about them cause they might just remind me about my doubts. bottomline: i'm a happier person now :)

and have i said i really love my seatmates? thanks shinyi and yunning!! hahaha. :))

when i feel ready i will go back to wow. sorry guys, i just can't do it yet. but i do want to see you.
well anyway, exams!! that's like easiest way to get around anything heh.

i think sometimes i just need days like this to get a grip on things, to evaluate and re-evaluate my life and stare out the window (NOT = emo) and realise what a fortunate girl i am.
plus, come on, WITH JESUS IN MY LIFE, ISN'T THAT REASON ENOUGH TO REJOICE?? :D

i just read the pep talk i wrote for 208 netcarn 2 years back. man do i miss you guys. so much. do make yourself available to come for the endyear chalet, ya? i guarantee you fun laughter peace and joy, in triple the portion of the one we organised 2 years ago! xD oh and if you wanna help organise and laugh your guts out at all the utterly silly ideas we generate (that have to do, inevitably, with being evil to the participants ie the rest of the class...), contact me :) heeheehee.

snoodles for lunch! :DD yeaaa. (ohman this just reminds me of cg and saturday and aaaaaaahhhhh i love you guys so much. thank you!!)

haven't been watching grey's for a while. wow, the last time i watched it was the MYA period. DOES TIME FLY OR DOES IT SOAR.

national day celebration was so so so fun!!! :DD nat becky mellam grace nata kuoying andrea audrey yingqi wo ai ni!!

i'm afraid of going to jc. there're many things i don't wish to leave behind, but many things i can't wait to leave as well. ohwell, it's always give and take.
sometimes it's just hard to accept that, ya?
and the overstatement of all time, (sigh,) that's life.

PATIENCE and HUMILITY, baby!

5 days of mugging. whee. self-control man. it starts right after i post this and have my lunch [snoodles!! xD]

algorithm march???? hahaha.

may this not be another of my mistakes again.

so.
i have a geog test tomorrow but i'm just taking a break now since i've been mugging my brains out the entire past week, ever since lit and ss were brought down (or at least, i hope so). well actually, i spent monday night on the phone and tuesday night wasn't very productive cause i realised too late that i was copying notes that i'd already taken down in class. so i wasted 2 hours, crap la. horrid waste. after that there was no time left so i had to sleep, ohwelllll.
well i've been mugging hard other than that, my weekend was spent reading almost all those articles :/ and yest i hardcore mugged for about 3h+ without getting out of my seat. yeah, those are just highlights. hahaha.
i'm sorry, this is just my way of comforting myself and reminding myself that i've really been mugging. cause i have. just that i never believe myself.
anyway, since it's break time, let's talk about other stuff and not mugging, shall we? :)

countdown to festival of praise: EXACTLY 24 HOURS!! :DD
going with cg tomorrow and cg + 208 classmates :D on sat. and sunday will be loaded with studying for yingyongwen and completing homework. since there's no church.

crap, i haven't listened to a single new delirious song yet. i don't like being unfamiliar with the songs the first day i go for fop, it makes it hard to mean what you sing cause half the time you're just trying to familiarise yourself with it, not worshipping God.

i think i should get a livejournal. but they don't have cool skins. i want cool skins. haha. but the whole idea of an ellejay community just sounds cool, la. +++

2 virtues to work on until the end of the year (before re-assessment of sorts?): PATIENCE and HUMILITY.

dudes! use www.blackle.com instead of google!! it's an energy-saving version of google, but works exactly the same way in terms of searching. :D SAVE THE EARTH.

chinese lesson today was hilarious. who would have thought chinese songs could be so fun? xD

i miss 208 like crazy.

i have to get used to saying i'm from city harvest instead of "uhh...oh right. city harvest." or the best way to confuse myself even more, say "uh...bukit panjang methodist church" and then after that slap myself.
i am actually really happy in city harvest and i believe it'll just keep getting better :)

time to go bathe, zaijian!