04 October 2007
10:12 PM
i
need to think. and i
need to blog.
reflection post i mean,
not just
random rantings.
i've been reflecting really
little of late.
and this isn't poetry
(quote claire),
i'm just typing
the exact way my thoughts
are coming out.
frag/mented.
dis joint ed.
this could pass
off as poetry,
in fact.
i haven't had time to reflect.
i hate having no time to reflect.
i blame math.
i blame a lot of things.
i think i'm selfish.
oh my.
i am selfish.
and i am sorry.
(i always am, why?
it's probably cause i always do the wrong
thing or say the wrong thing or behave the wrong way or just
let everybody down.)
and i am turning emo, aint i?
no actually.
math test is
tomorrow.
i can't wait for it to
be gone.
i have lots of things to catch up on.
OMG WHY AM I SO SELFISH?!
music.
soothes the soul.
frees themind.
drives me crazy,
sometimes.
we are watching a "depressing, not in the
touching way but the truly depressing
serious solemn way" movie
tomorrow.
it's on hitler.
did i mention, i
don't like history.
anyway,
watching a depressing movie
is a nice thought.
really it is.
who am i trying to kid.
maath go and die,
studying doesn't help for me anyway
not academically-inclined means
not academically-inclined.
it's sad to give up and i
used to believe in persevering,
it's not like i don't now but,
it's not my motto anymore so it
holds less weight
and that
isn't the point actually
but. wait.
what was i saying?
nevermind.
commas are nice, appealing, aren't they,
i don't feel like studying.
.........................
.........................
.........................
ellipsis
would be better.
i should go off now.
and if you ask, yes,
i'm irritated and i wish -
nevermind.
%%&$&%($^#%#&$**$(%($%%#&$*
no, that wasn't swearing. it was
simply angst.
which is a word that doesn't exist
according to our DMF teacher.
but will in a few years.
i hate being cranky.
not in the good way of
course.
i should go.
goodnight, babies.
