God's child
dance
music
basketball
loves people!!! :D

"let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful." hebrews 10:23

live for others. make a difference.

"i forgive."

let's take a walk into today
don't let your past get in the way

cause yesterday is history
and history is miles away
so leave it all behind you
let it always remind you of the day
the day that love made history

have i mentioned thinking is seriously mentally draining :/

mildred and i met sharon david for lunch today and she said something like, "hahahaha cheryl's still cheryl! always smiling, always so bubbly and cheerful :D" i love it when people say things like that (: it shows something.

nostalgia stinks.

i want ice-cream.

i will wipe away all hatred and be happy this christmas. not just for me, but for your sake as well.

that is my personal conviction from today.

a struggle to understand
a failure to comprehend
a broken heart for God to mend

if you place your happiness in things that do not last, your happiness will not last either.
i have concluded, the Father's love is the greatest of all. why search for earthly pleasures which pass away with our body? we have treasures stored up in heaven, ready and waiting for us to rise up and inherit them from our Father. why spend your entire life looking for that sense of acceptance and love that can never be found here in this fallen world? our Heavnly Father sent His only Son to die as an atonement for our sins. what more could we ask for? his love is perfect. unconditional. never changing. He has prepared a home in a perfect place for us, together with His host of angels and the One himself. we do not belong here, we were made to live with Him forever. why waste our life worrying about and wishing for what we think we lack? in Him we have all we need.

i want to thank God for my batch. (in alphabetical order for fairness) alina athena claire jamie joe nata olly sihui yen I LOVE YOU! had a great time with them baking our juniors' mudpie (which was delicious, btw, no kidding (: ), and playing TABOO!! at the gathering. i've never had such a fun bunch of people to play taboo with before. it was. hilarious. like. anything. and it's a good game to improve your vocab too (:
and then i walked home! from yew tee mrt! which is like 5min away by train but i managed to stroll so well that i took about 1h 15min to get home haha. i love the night air. especially during the colder season!

guess i should stop forcing myself to think. quiet doesn't mean thoughtful. it might mean a quietening of the mind and heart as well.

i remember last week i was working full shift on one of the days and in between, i had nothing to do so i just aked my manager for a piece of blank A4 paper and i started counting my blessings and listing them. let me tell you it feels good. (: i have much to thank God for.

though i still hate myself in too many ways.

i am an optimistic pessimist.

and it hurts to smile.

2 or 3 things to add to my new year's resolutions:
1. i will stop peeling my nails
2 i will stop being so FREAKING NAIVE and trusting people so easily for what they say
3. (tentative) i will stop trying to be a hero. seriously.

this christmas doesn't feel like christmas. i don't know why :(

sometimes the simplest things make me the happiest. sometimes i ask for too much. other times i expect really little and that's when i get hurt easily, when people start underestimating undermining/misinterpreting my expectations i mean. sometimes i think too much about nothing and everything. sometimes i get really retarded. sometimes i cause my own hurt. sometimes i give up. sometimes i'm delirious and people think i'm 24/7 cheerful. sometimes most of the time i don't understand. sometimes i think i'm really a huge idiot.
and most of the time, i still hate you.

i love work so much. love the environment, the colleagues, the setting, the food, everything about it. except maybe the hours and the pay which are reasonably high but not fantastic. but who cares, how many people actually love their job? :D thank God. i wob't recommend it to any of you, cause the place is uber high-class and caters to businessmen and women not people like us. hahaha. so i feel so privileged every time i get to try something from the kitchen like the PASTA OMGGGGG. hahaha. tastefully delightful (:

my schedule has been so fully packed, like i do almost nothing at home but bathe sleep and have breakfast, that i have had no time to plan for christmas and think about things. like, i should've have started on christmas cards and gifts about a month back already and i only officially started buying yesterday. thank God i planned earlier though. makes things lots easier, it does (: and i probably should start thinking about jc and my subjects and my FUTURE, etc. one very short term one would be whether i should take up H1 econs. i thinki should, like they love to say,"keep your options open" *big knowing smile* and there're other things i know i need to think about to, but you see, i've suffered from this like, ABSENCE of thinking-time too seriously that i can't even think about what i have to think about. lol. now i understand mental condition metacognition.

and CHRISTMAS. there's like so much to do and think about for this entire season and the day is only 5 days away and i've barely started anything. what a perfect 16th christmas i'm gonna have. ohwell, it's still not too late, i'll make sure i'll get everything sorted out. friday's my break day!! work lunch shift then come home and prepare gifts and cards! my first day home in the day ever!! hahaha.

ohman i thought i just heard the ringing of the Moomba phone at the back of my head. i must be crazy. but i love work :D

should i work from 27th to 29th?

ohmyyyy. i've finally gotten a chance to see my wound, like the entire thing using 2 mirrors.
OOOOOHHHHHHH. heh heh heh. it's cool, yoz. it's irregularly shaped indeed, funny zigzag. like lightning. harry potter? (God is the potter not harry! wahahahaha.) okay back to point. yea! it is cool but it unnerved me slightly as well. now i actually feel a very very very tiny tinge of queasiness knowing i've that thing on my head. and that i caused it. and that i laughed when that thing bled. HAHAHA. i am so self-amusing. anyway i've gtg work! cya babes!

cheryl is a hyperactive girl.
cheryl cannot be locked up at home and shut out form the outside world for 3 days (almost 7, according to the batam doctors) due to a stupid injury.
she will positively (well actually, negatively) go crazy. as though there isn't someone out there driving her crazy enough.
cheryl will cry if she's confined to the four walls of her home for more than a day.
cheryl wants to thank sherwin and sarah profusely for coming over yesterday and today respectively to visit her. thank you for caring so much and being so concerned about how she is. and thank you everyone from church who's been asking her non-stop about how her head is, she feels very much loved by all your prayers and wellwishes (:

today was spent playing guitar with sarah, learning quite a few new chords (and i still cannot barre zzzzz :( ), having a very yummy noodles lunch, throwing my soft toys around (well actually at each other), and then after she left i played guitar for about 2h+, wrote a letter, had dinner, and came online to blog.
by the way weixing, i'm really sorry. i mean it. well i was already sorry just now but in too cranky a mood to say it properly and seriously and you prob were heated up already anyway so i'll just say it here. yep. sorry for whatever i said and however i sounded.
thank you sherwin and sarah, once again (: and jeremiah and bev for offering to come visit (although i have NO idea how serious jeremiah was since he totally sounded like he was kidding after he offered?! lol. dunno zz.)
i am going to the doctor's to check my wound and ask lots of questions about what kinda activities i can engage in now! (: and then back to work i will be. happy happy. full shift thur and fri. best way to get my mind off things.

i will praise You Lord
praise You forever and ever
i will praise You Lord
praise You forevermore
i will praise You Lord
praise You forever and ever
i will prai-se You Lord

camp was awesome. i'm too tired to reflect and blog about it now so i will in a while. ciao!

aaaaaahhhhhhhh i've a newfound fear, and that is swallowing tablets!! yiiiiikes! this morning, i swallowed the first pill (the biggest one, moreover) perfectly fine. and then me who evidently hasn't learnt to stop TRYING TO BE A HERO, attempted to swallow TWO pills at a go. and i failed. so i tried again and again to no avail. then finally i spat one out and tried swallowing one and i still failed. so my whole post-breakfast was spent trying to swallow two tiny tablets, which in the end i spat out and never swallowed. which also means i've missed 1 dosage of medicine but THANKFULLY it was the vitamin pill (why in the world did they give that? prevent infection i suppose.) and the painkiller (which i suppose is more unnecesssary than necessary cause my head doesn't hurt one bit.) thank God.

omg.

how.

just yesterday morning i was yakking about how thrilled i was the first time i learnt to swallow tablets.

aaaahhh!!!!!!

i cannot survive like that! i have like millions more antibiotic pills! how! howhowhow! HOW!!!! aah!! argh! crap! yikes! oh no! gah!! GAAAAAHHHHHH.

:(

:S

:/

"what were you thinking?! you trying to be a hero?!"

yeah, perhaps.

you wouldn't have guessed.