God's child
dance
music
basketball
loves people!!! :D

"let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful." hebrews 10:23

live for others. make a difference.

"today has been okay"
today has been, a good day, more or less. not to mention it's a good hair day too which made me kinda happy for some reason considering i didn't go out at all, haha.
and i've been pretty much mildly contented for the most part.
so, :)

slept past 4am yesterday or should i say today, stayed up talking online to og mates who slowly retreated to their bedrooms one by one until there was just yansheng left. whom i talked with until about 4 and both of us were gonna drop (probably) then went to bed. it felt really good, it's been the latest i've stayed up this year, and of course, i miss the late nights. another thing i miss real badly is late night phone convos, but that one can come later, no problem (: so yea. i've found another confidant, which i'm really glad for. it's great, having someone who genuinely cares and i trust means it when he says "i'll be there for you". and of course, it makes it all the better that he's a child of God and is like, a walking bible who spews out verses just right for the occasion, always. haha. thank you DAIKOR! *pokes cheeks xD*

i've made it a personal commitment to go running twice a week and i already began last week (ran like 2 days in row craziness. and then 2 days later we had our napfa trial :/). yesterday i ran 5k thereabout, woohoo (: will run again on sunday morning. the adrenaline rush is awesome.

it's been a very quiet and uneventful chinese new year, in contrast to all the visitations that are going on out there. i've spent and will be spending every day at home doing homework or slacking around, and it has deifinitely been to my utmost pleasure. today was mostly spent reading - Off Centre by Haresh Sharma and The Time Traveller's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger. lovely books. have i mentioned i love reading :D quite surprising that i'm so eager to stay at home when usually i'm the first to jump out of my seat at the mention of "going out". well, i suppose i've found things to do, or i've learnt to enjoy the peace in the afternoon rather than just the usual, night. or perhaps, simply put, i'm changing.

mildly contented.
just the phrase itself sounds nice already (:

sometimes i think there's just something wrong with me but i can never pinpoint what and no, it's not depression. haha. although sometimes honestly honestly i do wonder whether i need to see a therapist. i know i've said that before, heh. it is mildly bemusing actually. sometimes.

i think i've said this to a lot of people but have never actually blogged it, so i shall just do so, for record's sake. jc life has been very, very, very awesome, truly. the friends being the number 1 factor, axiomatically. and i like the lecture-tutorial style of learning, perhaps because i'd much rather move around the campus than stay stuck in one classroom which makes me rather claustrophobic sometimes. i like the freedom too (like using handphones anytime anywhere hahaha but it also makes my phone bill rocket..), the lax school rules and all. hahaha. so, full-fledged mugging hasn't begun yet and the workload is still highly manageable and maybe that's why but, why should i look for reasons not to be happy? (:

my og is like, (cliche as this sounds) a band of angels sent from heaven. i am certain i've never felt like i loved a circle of friends this much before. it's like, WHOA! dynamite man. haha. they're my motivation to go to school, and end sch. seeing them the first thing in the day and the last thing in the day keeps me going, really. and i can go out with them every day and never get sick of their company. talking about that, wednesday with you guys was LOVELY!! camwhoreeee hahaha. chalet will rock. because we will make it rock. <3!

managed to get 2 poems down this afternoon.

poet at work
the quivering hand of a poet clutching
his pen, fist to forehead with a furrowed frown as he
battles mind and heart to meet at one.
through his wistful eyes thus flows the images, therein they
disintegrate into a million fragments to
touch the heart and soul.
and mind begins its mechanics of
reading the feeling. calming the raging storm within,
wrapping the picture into a prize.
fall through - from eye, from heart, from mind - the arm,
into the hand, into the pen.
beauty
achieved.

a meeting by the canal
walk down the lonely path and you'll find
a child at the end, alone, broken, crouched
in a trembling, pathetic heap against the
railing of a canal, eyes transfixed on the water rushing below.

swirl, swirl.
a disturbing reflection of your self, you think.

you pause, convincing yourself that you're
giving her the space she needs for a bit,
sanctifying that moment of solace while you
contemplate your next course of action.

how vulnerable a child,
to be or not to be touched?

you take a step toward her,
whispering a "hey" as audible as can be above
the crashing pool. "you okay?"
yet she makes not the slightest sound nor movement.

stubbornly boxed up, you hastily conclude.
because she reminds you too much of yourself.

you sit beside her, grasping her tiny hand
in yours, watching the endless flow of water
course its way beneath. slowly, her tensed body
loosens, yet her eyes never leave the scene.

sweet child o' mine.
poor, poor dear child.

you hear a sniffle, then feel her head
lean against your shoulder. tears are dripping
onto her pretty dress as you smooth her hair
gently, gently.
and as you lay her in your lap to sleep,
you realise
she is you.