keeping it simple

20 June 2008

10:54 PM

reflections on worship camp <3

so blessed i can't contain it
so much i got to give it away
Your love has taught me to live now
You are more than enough for me

more honestly, though,

Stained Glass Masquerade - Casting Crowns
Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin’ so small

Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they’ll soon discover
That I don’t belong

So I tuck it all away, like everything’s okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I’ll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the part again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them

Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation’s open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone who’s been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who’s traded
In the altar for a stage

The performance is convincing
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart

But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be

Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay

Chorus x2
Well if the invitation’s open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin’ so small

today's the last friday of the holidays. it just suddenly struck me, when i was sitting at the bus stop waiting to come home tonight. though of course, nic was a walking timer who at absolutely inappropriate times burst out things like,"3 more days!" and made all of us - at least, those still in sec sch or jc - grooooan.

worship camp was the most un-camp-like camp i've ever been to, for so many reasons like the (tiny) size of our bags, the ultra-flexible schedule, and the free-and-easy attitude we could adopt (like trooping out of church to bathe at 4am?!) but that was exactly what made it so great :D not to mention, we could kinda leave camp and come back at any time we want - what with so many coming and going just within a matter of 2 days 1night! oh and we didn't even bring sleeping bags, we just plopped onto the couches in the worship hall (just enough for the 4 of us who stayed up till 630am).

jamming -
formed the bulk of the activities for the camp. it was, simply, a blast. honestly i've always had a sort-of phobia of jamming, cause firstly, i don't play any instruments at all at an sufficiently adequate level - i can twang around with guitar strings for some songs and play some songs on the keyboard, anyhow bang around on the drums, but that doesn't count - so all i can rely on is my vocals which gets rather boring sometimes xD after this camp i wanna learn BASS BASS BASS and VIOLIN. hahaha, over-ambitious. anyway back to the point, yea jamming was just so awesome!!! with like, a band of about 10-odd people? guitar(s), bass, drums, VIOLIN, the occassional electric guit or even flute, and 3-5 vocals. it's been years since we had enough manpower to work with a team of even half this number.
but more importantly, though, it gave us all a chance to experinent, improvise, innovate (aha i sound like, S21 or sth like that?), and get to know the styles of each musician/WL, with no barriers or restraints cause we were just there to TRY (: i like that spirit. it, well, sets you free. really. (:
i think our team has a lot of potential waiting to be unleashed. praise God (:

bible study/morning devotion/sharing sessions -
was the highlight of the entire camp for me (: this morning's devotion really quietened my heart and allowed me to look deep into my heart and mind and reflect upon the way i've been living my life physically and spiritually. yes it's something i often do, but not as often in the context of bringing God into the picture, unfortunately. sharing sessions were really good, it reminded me again and again that we're all human, we all face struggles, and my own can be terribly trivial compared to a million others. and what i liked especially was the openness of everyone in the group - the willingness to share and the trust in the other members. really heartwarming, and definitely a rare experience for me. i learnt a lot, from the bible, and from the people, and trying to list down the lessons learnt here would do no justice to them, so i shant. but i just really wanna thank God (: and everyone who made a difference my life just within these 2 days: eve, charmaine, jeremy, pleee, fiona, nick han, mei khiun, dancia, eugene, victor, tyrus, kaiheng, kaixiang, georgina, christina.

mugging - (MISSION FAILED)
basically took place for about 1h yest afternoon, last night/this morning from midnight to 4am, with MUSICCC thanks to eve, and indirectly thanks to nat (: and in very short time lapses this afternoon - i was tackling a keyboard, a guitar, the whatchamacallit tribal-ish drums, singing into a microphone, and annotating othello. HAHA.
i'm not proud to say that i accomplished probably less than 30% of what i'd planned on before the camp, but i'm prouder to say that it was totally worth it (: i will trust God, like i told myself during prayer last night and morning d today.

bbq -
highlight was probably zong ji mi ma and bbq-ing marshmallows which stubbornly REFUSED TO TURN GOLDEN-BROWN even when you could see the entire thing liquify and hang precariously from your stick. we were planning to jam (haha HI JAMMY) after dinner but JAMMY couldn't stay so along with him went half the instruments etc. haha. so boo, we cleaned the place, packed and left pretty abruptly at 9.

i had an immense amounf ot fun these 2 days, i must say i've really found the joy of serving Him with this worship team, and this has never changed since i started out 4 years ago :)) (ohmyy i am so lao jiao)

so. i was sitting at the bus stop (my bus took veeeery long to arrive. have you ever heard me grumble about public transport? if you haven't count yourself very lucky.) and inevitably, thinking, a lot.
i. i cannot live without people, and i couldn't be more grateful to every single person who's touched my life in one way or another, and whether i/he/she realised it or not. i'm just, so amazed by how God can use people to send us messages from up there :)
ii. will be addressed in an upcoming post
iii. i was questioning a lot of things we do and the way we go about every day of our lives - how do we truly let God be the centre of it all?
iv. (trivial) planned on writing a poem/song when i got home but the mood sorta got lost somewhere in between..
v. i need a break. i really really need a break.

currently i am very sleepy, thankful, contented, melancholic, worried, stressed, in doubt, sleepy, thankful, thankful, worried, thankful...

and this line - just this line - was so aptly stuck in my head the entire bus ride home:
i could sing of Your love forever